Dangerous Days
by Jpena
Summary: AU Tonks/Snape. What if they had a relationship? For some reason in my mind these two characters make sense together. Please read and review.:) ON HOLD SORRY
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.

This is AU, this pairing would leave my head for months. Years ago I read them together and they made sense to me. Please read and review .

Chapter 1

Another October 31st, and another drinking binge; Severus Snape was drowning his sorrows once again. He was mourning his friend, the love of his life, the only person who ever loved him.

He was in muggle London; he never drank so much in wizarding establishments. He didn't want anyone to recognize him. Severus wanted to be anonymous. Just another man drinking his sorrows away; today marked the eighth anniversary of her death. Severus took another drink of his scotch and scanned the crowd around him. There were other men around him and some women drinking by the some table. They were very young, maybe even underage.

The wizard kept drinking until a woman spoke next to him; "by yourself tonight?" a blond and blue eyed beauty asked him.

He took a drink from his glass and examined this woman; she was busty, curvy and tall. She had a killer body, too pretty to chat him up. "I do not pay for sex." Severus hissed while letting his black stare roam her curvaceous body clad in that short brown dress.

The woman almost spluttered her vodka across the bar table. "I am not a prostitute." She seemed outrage. Severus was sober enough to want to fuck this woman. "Are you sure?" He once again looked at her with a filthy smile on his lips.

Severus put a hand in her thigh, the woman stiffened. The wizard was sure that the woman would reject him now. She had a look of utter disbelief and fear. "Why don't we go somewhere more private?"

He hid his surprise and ran his fingers over her thighs again. Severus took another gulp from his scotch, "come with me." He stood up, led her through the door and out of the pub.

Severus dragged her to a deserted alley and kissed her forcefully. She was backed up to a dirty wall, "I know you are a witch, I can feel magic coming through you." He kissed her neck and cupped her arse. The woman moaned and kissed him just as forcefully.

He dissaparated them to his house at Spinner's End, his house was under the fidelius charm. The woman wouldn't know how she got there and would not know how to come back. As they landed Severus hurriedly kissed and caressed this woman. He wanted release.

He led her to his old room and vanished the brown dress; she was just like he had envisioned her. The blond woman moaned when he sucked on one of her breasts, surprisingly this bombshell of a woman didn't know what to do with her hands.

Severus licked her nipple and then pushed her hand to his cock. She let out a gasp but took the hint when he guided her hand in a motion pleasurable for him. The wizard got rid of her knickers and laid her on the bed.

He straddled the woman who seemed to get shy and hesitant all of the sudden. Severus kissed her navel and whispered; "are you afraid of me?" he purred and looked into her blue eyes.

She shook her head and pulled him up for a kiss. She was sloppy; maybe she was just as drunk as he was. "Could you be gentle with me?" she asked breathlessly. He tried legilemency on her but he was too drunk or she was too strong.

"I'll be." He then kissed her neck and played with her cunt. She moaned loudly and encouraged him with little open-mouthed kisses on his jaw and earlobe.

They rubbed and touched each other until he entered her; the woman gasped and let out a moan. He performed the charm, touched her lower belly and started moving in and out. "This feels great, it didn't feel like this last time." She whimpered when he bit her shoulder and thrust hard into her, crushing her clit with his pelvic bone. "You're so big, I never thought you would be so big." She cried out as he laughed and shoved into her more rapidly.

Forget about being fucking gentle, he wanted to pound her into the mattress and that was what he was doing. This woman's cunt felt very good, "yes, fuck. This is good."

Under him the blond saw his face and how sexy he looked biting his lower lip and just fucking the hell out of her. She whimpered again, his brown almost black eyes were on hers; he was moving in and out but looking at her with such desire. He was supporting himself with one arm while his other arm went around her long blond hair; he tightened his grip on her and bit her lips. She became insane with want and quietly said, "Harder, fuck me harder please." his eyes filled with fire and he grabbed her hands and held them with one of his. He raised himself and fucked her as hard as he could.

Her eyes rolled back and she arched against him. This was so very erotic, he'd been celibate for almost half a year now, and he wouldn't go without a fuck for so long anymore. Severus was not concerned about this woman anymore; he just wanted to come so badly. She came, he could feel her walls clench against his cock. He finally felt the release near and jut let himself go. When he was done he dropped next to her an immediately fell asleep.

During the night he had her two more times. The second time he woke up to her straddling him, she was trying to position herself but was unable to. Severus grabbed her waist, it seemed more slender to the touch but he couldn't be sure without the lights on. "I want to ride you." She touched his chest hair and dropped her hand until she cupped his cock and balls. He moaned entering her "will every time I have sex feel like this? She moved up and down, touching her erect nipples.

What a strange question, "I suppose so, now shut up and move faster." He batted her hands away from her breasts and stimulated those nipples with his fingers and mouth. He enjoyed the fact that this witch was initiating another encounter with him.

The third time had been his own doing he had flipped them just as she had come and then fucked her slowly. She whined, tried to increase the pace and begged for him to fuck her just like before but Severus had taken his time. He moved slowly, made her orgasm twice until he decided it was enough.

Just as the morning rose Severus felt someone's arm fall across his middle. He opened his eyes and saw long chestnut hair and a pale arm over him. Wait, the woman he had slept with had blond hair. Severus didn't have time to think, the woman stiffened and turned around. Severus' dark eyes encountered the dark brown eyes of one Nymphadora Tonks.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from this Story.

Please review, otherwise I need some feedback to either continue or stop posting this story.

Chapter 2

"Shit, what the fuck have I done?" Severus pulled his trousers up. He turned around, his student; his sixth year Hufflepuff student was half naked in his bed.

"Professor, I can explain." The girl looked frightened. He'd never seen her look so normal, brown eyes, brown hair. Her heart shaped face and her Black beauty heritage very apparent before his eyes.

"Get dressed." He hissed, he turned around once again and grabbed his wand. A forgetting charm was his only option. Severus faced her but before he could cast the spell the girl was gone.

Nymphadora apparated to her bedroom. She was still feeling the adrenalin rush through her bloodstream. She had sex with Snape and she enjoyed it, she had loved being under him. He was a good lover. Her plan had gone so wrong.

"Stupid Tonks." She kicked the bed and stubbed her big toe. "Ouch." The young woman sat down and thought back to yesterday afternoon.

The metamorphmagus decided to celebrate her seventeenth birthday by going to a muggle pub. She managed to use one of the hidden tunnels that lead to Hogsmeade, she dissaparated and went to the nearest muggle bar she could find. She made friends with some young women and then she noticed Prof. Snape sitting by the bar. Tonks was drawn to him immediately. She feared him like most of his students but there was something about seeing him there, just like any man, with black slacks and a black shirt. To the young woman he seemed underdressed, she was used to seeing in in his heavy black robes and layers of black fabric.

When she approached him her intention was not to go to his house and have sex with him. As they talked it became perfectly clear that he wanted to fuck her, his dark eyes roaming over her newest figure. When he touched her leg something strange happened, she felt electrified. Tonks in a bold move accepted to go wherever he wanted to go. She wanted him to keep touching her. Snape kissed her roughly and manhandled her, he aroused her in a way she had not experienced before. She lost her virginity to a muggle boy that summer but she had not experienced half the arousal she felt when Snape touched her arse or when he bit her neck.

Her professor was drunk and the girl knew it but she couldn't stop. Not when he threw her to a bed and did wonderful things to her breasts. Tonks remembered every single detail of the night, the feel of his cock entering her, his face when he was close to orgasm, the way his lips would kiss her and mark her breasts. Most of all she remembered his rough voice, encouraging her to let go and come for him.

All in all it had been a wonderful night but then morning came, she'd overslept and he had seen her in her natural form. Professor Snape recognized her immediately; the young woman did what she thought to be the best course of action, she dissaparated.

Tonks needed to think, she had to go back to Hogwarts, good thing she didn't have potions until next Monday. It was 9:30; she needed to be at the castle by lunchtime otherwise people would start to notice her absence. Tonks would try her best to avoid Snape as much as possible.

Severus managed to apparate in time for his morning class; he entered the room and pointed his wand at the blackboard. Instructions appeared, he faced his second years, "you have an hour to finish the potion on the board. Those of you who fail will have to write two feet of parchment outlining your mistakes. Begin." He hissed.

During this time the potion master had time to think. The girl would not say anything to the headmaster; he would not talk to her. It was best if they forgot about that incident, he could not obliviate her. Dumbledore would detect the curse almost immediately.

Snape avoided the Great Hall, it wasn't really mandatory for him to dine there but Dumbledore made it a rule. Apparently Severus needed to socialize with his colleagues. Monday came and both parties were nervous about seeing each other. Tonks thought of faking illness but freaking Marissa Witt decided that she needed to get her into the infirmary to het her checked up. She knew that Madam Pomfrey would send her to the dungeons, this would be worse, she would be late and he would have a valid reason to single her out.

Her stomach rolled, she entered the classroom and sat next to a Ravenclaw girl, they shared the table. She was glad she chose one of the back tables at the beginning of the year. Tonks wore bright aquamarine hair and her usual face and build.

Snape came stalking into the room. He addressed the whole class, "Draught of the Living Dead. You are going to make one of the most difficult potions of the semester. The ingredients of this potions include…" Tonks did not pay more attention to what he was saying, she saw him move across the front. She never noticed before but he had a way of lecturing. He used his hands to illustrate the movements needed to perform the potion. Snape didn't make eye contact with her but Tonks couldn't help but look at him. Of all the things she expected this hadn't been one of them. The witch didn't expect to feel attracted to him again. She wanted to have him again, to be on his bed again.

His voice was so different from when he whispered in her ear, or when he was close to reaching oblivion. Tonks wanted to hear that voice again; she wanted to feel those fingers touching her, dancing over her skin. "Begin with the brewing process. You have the rest of the class to complete the potion."

Severus could feel her eyes on him, he didn't know how to react, he kept on lecturing and hoped that the girl would start doing the damn potion. He had selected this potion because of its complexity; his five students would have to be very concentrated to finish it. He examined the room; his two Slytherins were already doing their work. Charlie Weasley was by himself while Ms. Shield and her were at the back getting the ingredients ready.

For a moment he looked at the strange hair color and her figure. She didn't have the curves she had that night. She was taller and her waist was smaller, "what in Hades am I thinking?" He went back to grading third year essays. Severus spent the next twenty minutes slashing essays. Suddenly he looked up and made eye contact with her. They looked at each other; he entered her mind and saw her thoughts, her desire for him. He saw her writhing under him, not the blond bombshell but her, Nymphadora Tonks. The image aroused him, he broke the connection, he was not going to take advantage of a student. He wouldn't go that low. This was a young girl, a sixteen year old who was probably just infatuated with him.

It would pass, he would ignore her and everything would get back to normal. That became Severus' mantra for the rest of class. Ms. Tonks had not tried anything; she was one of the first to leave the classroom.

She walked fast, before he could say anything to her, she wasn't completely oblivious, she wanted to be an auror and she knew that he had just entered her mind. Snape had entered, at the same exact moment in which she imagined being taken by him.

Tonks went to her common room and waited until her next class, which was in an hour. She went up to her room; she fell on her bed. Eventually she fell asleep and dreamed of him, it seemed that seeing him affected her more than she thought.

She woke up sweaty and extremely aroused, she dreamed of going to his classroom and riding in in his chair. "Please whoever is listening, make it stop." She said aloud, trying to calm her breathing. This was not supposed to happen, she was supposed to feel awkward about sleeping with her feared professor, not aroused by the thought of having him again. Snape would never have her again; he wouldn't even look at her or would he? "He wouldn't. Stop it Tonks, think of something else." She got up and noticed that she missed herbology, she decided to stay in her room, luckily there were only two more girls in her year and they were in class.

Little by little Tonks was able to live with her nightmares. She called them nightmares now, not because she disliked the content but because they left her unfulfilled and sexually frustrated. The young woman tried to pleasure herself, she morphed her fingers to be his length but they paled in comparison. Tonks went on like this for three more weeks until something happened one afternoon.

Everyone did their potions and was finishing. Tonks could have never been called coordinated. She managed to knock her cauldron and spill the contents of her potion on herself. Fortunately the potion had already cooled; the problem was that it was amortentia. She smelled lavender, rain and sandalwood. She looked up and saw him. Professor Snape. He looked so handsome and sexy, she approached him, she had to kiss him now.

"Class dismissed, everyone get out. Ms. Tonks stay." He barked at the students. Good he wanted to be alone with her. As soon as the last Slytherin was out Tonks ran to him and kissed him with all she had. She moaned when her lips touched his hard lips. Her love was not responding, she knocked him to a chair and sat on his lap. "I want you so bad." She looked into his surprised eyes and placed his hands inside of her skirt.

He was not doing anything to her, his hand stayed in her outer thigh. Tonks wanted him to touch her but her love wasn't doing anything to her. She whined and ground her hips against him. Her professor groaned and tried to still her but she wasn't having any of it. She huffed, "Why aren't you doing anything? Is it this body, you don't like the hair?" she scrunched her nose; her hair became blond and her eyes blue.

Snape did not respond to that either, quite the contrary, she heard him growl. "Get up now." But the potions drove Tonks wild with desire and she kissed him once again, this time she nipped his uncooperative lips. The young woman managed to open the black robes and unbutton the jacket until is white shirt and part of his chest was visible.

"Stop this now." Snape stood up and threw her to the floor. He looked horrified at seeing her in that position. Immediately he extended a hand to help her up. She accepted and kissed him again.

"Don't fight it, I know you want this. I want this, I'm seventeen." She whispered against his lips as she licked and nipped.

He growled and finally took the lead. Tonks felt him reach for the skirt and tug at it. She moaned when his finger came near her soaked center. "You are so wet, is this for me?" Snape seemed to have accepted the fact that she was not leaving the classroom without having sex with him.

Tonks whimpered when her professor opened her blouse and left her in her bra. "Please I want you, please." he took her hand and led her to his private storage room. A room full of ingredients and old cauldrons, the professor transfigured one into a chair and sat down.

"Isn't this how you wanted me?" He opened his white shirt and got rid of it. He was now shirtless. Tonks' eyes rounded, she came closer to the object of her desires and unbuttoned his trousers. Snape groaned when she caressed him.

"Ms. Tonks look at me." She looked up from the floor and heard him whisper something. "Somnus" she closed her eyes and slumped against her Professor's chest.


	3. Chapter 3

Please review!

Chapter 3

"Ms. Tonks wake up," his voice sounded far. Tonks opened her eyes and saw professor Snape sitting in a chair about a foot away from where she was. The young woman sat up. She was in a comfortable bed, with dark green sheets, she looked around, a big shelve full with books, a closet, a desk full with parchments.

"You are in my rooms Ms. Tonks." Snape whispered drawing attention to himself. Tonks blushed as images flashed through her head. She had forced herself on her professor.

"We will forget about this, it was the potion's effects. Let this be the last time you ever do something like that to my person." He said sardonically.

Suddenly fury invaded the metamorphmagus, ok, she had accosted him but at some point he had been a willing participant. She rose from the bed and noticed that she was dressed in her full uniform.

"I couldn't have you half naked in my bed," the man sitting in the chair drawled. "Wouldn't have been the first time." Tonks faced him; she noticed a slight change in his stare, an almost untraceable fire in his eyes.

"That was a mistake, you tricked me. I would have never considered bedding you otherwise." He spat at her.

Tonks felt hurt but more than hurt she felt her pride being insulted. If there was something that she had inherited from the Blacks it was pride and arrogance. She came closer to her professor and once again sat on his lap. She softly kissed his lips and carded his hair. "The potion might have inhibited my desires but they were there all along." He groaned when she nipped his earlobe. "Just like before you are not doing anything to stop me professor. I know you want me too. Don't lie to yourself, I don't know what stopped you before but we both know that you want me under you once again." She purred as she ran her hands over his naked chest and belly. She didn't know where this bravery came from but she felt powerful with desire and lust for this man. In a moment she decided to have him again, no more fantasies or frustrated snogging session with silly boys who didn't know what to do with their hands. She would have him now.

With a new resolve, she grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts, encouraging him to do something. He was very reluctant and only cupped them, "you might be still affected by the potion."

"I am not and you know it." Tonks moaned and he kissed her roughly then. After that he didn't need any more encouragement. He became the lover she had known before. Eager to explore her and have her, Snape tried to move them to the bed but Nymphadora whispered, "I want us to be here. I have dreamed about this, every night, please professor here." She kissed his Adam's apple while he raised his hips to get rid of the trousers.

She ground her hips once again and he was in. "I wanted this for so long," he muttered against her neck. They were frenzied; each seeking pleasure out of the other in less than ten minutes Tonks let out a sob and collapsed against her teacher.

Severus didn't have time to ponder over the situation he was in; she was suddenly getting up and going to his bed, her hair brown and long against her white back. She looked like she belonged there in his bed. He naturally stood up and went to bed.

It was perhaps the biggest mistake in his life but he did not want to give her up. He used her, and he was using her once again. It was wrong for him to abuse her young feelings and mind; Severus knew all of this. Soon this girl would regret the age gap and resent him, he decided to enjoy this woman for as long as he could. Since having her, months ago he had taken the habit of observing her discretely. Nymphadora Tonks was the usual Huffelpuff, friends with different people from Ravenclaw, Gryffindor and her own house. These friendships were superficial; she didn't have any real confidantes it seemed. The girl was an average student, frequented the library only when her assignments required extra researching. She was constantly changing her hair and nose but not her figure. She had a vivid imagination, she talked about having fantasies, and well she'd been projecting some of them to him. Whenever the girl had class with him she would look at him and basically show him all the sexual things she wanted to try with him.

He'd tried; the gods knew he had tried to keep her away from his thoughts but he was only human. After a herculean effort on his part he managed to resist temptation more than once only for this slip of a girl to shattered with a few sentences. "I'm seventeen," Legal, in both muggle and wizarding laws. "I want you." No one had ever uttered those words to him, not even Lily.

Severus snapped out of his thoughts when he saw her looking directly into his eyes. She was sprawled on his bed, naked and giving him a lusty look. He decided to torment himself later.

Slowly he stepped out of his trousers and boots, in their haste he'd forgotten about fully removing them. They spent the next few hours in bed, whispering, moaning, and grunting. They were a sweaty entanglement of limbs, Tonks was a little sore and tired from all the workout she had that afternoon. After catching his breath Severus said, "we have to have some ground rules." He stroked her back.

"Number one, and the most important. I will not change my mind about this. This is sex only. I am not a starry eyed teenager looking for love. Listen carefully Nymphadora I can't love you I don't want to love you." He said harshly to her. The young woman looked surprised by the anger behind his words.

"Just sex, got it." Snape was clear; he made no promises or left room for interpretations. Tonks liked that; if she was honest with herself she did not want a relationship with him either. She didn't know how to explain it but there was something about him that attracted her.

"I want to have one unbreakable rule, I doubt this will happen." She raised herself from his chest and bravely spoke. "If I ever develop feelings for you. I will tell you, I only ask you to not belittle them and honestly tell me if you've changed your mind about your feelings towards me." She looked defiantly at him. His brow was furrowed just like when he argued about potions with his advanced students.

"Agreed, now rule number two; no one must know about this for obvious reasons. There will be no indiscretions outside of my quarters or my classroom." Tonks smiled and asked.

"So you will only fuck me after school hours." He looked sourly at her but nodded nonetheless. Tonks chuckled, "what bout cuddling and other tactile activities?" she asked, as she played with some of the hair in his lower abdomen.

"I will grant you some of them. I am not a man who particularly likes those activites but I will relent in some occasions." He was lying through his teeth; he craved affection, especially touch. But she didn't know that so he scowled when she kissed his belly button.

"Rule number three." He felt her hands going lower and stroking him. "I don't share, if we are to enter this agreement you will not be seeing other men." He rolled them over. Being on top gave him power, he saw her flushed face and could see that she loved when he took charge.

Severus pushed into her and thrust into her. "Are we clear?" he bit the side of her shoulder.

"I only ask for reciprocity professor." She had the audacity to smirk. "Of course, now my name is Severus. When we are like this don't you dare call me professor." He growled as she arched her back and met his thrusts. By the end of the night Nymphadora Tonks made him like his name. His name sounded beautiful when she said it in the throes of passion.

She felt boneless tired but oh so very satisfied, Severus touched her sides and softly said, "don't fall asleep. You have to go back to your common room." He sounded just as tired as she felt.

After a catnap Tonks sat up and performed a spell to check the time. 5:27. She missed lunch and the first half of defense against the dark arts. Fortunately this teacher wasn't keen on attendance or performance for that matter. Professor Smethwick seemed content with lecturing and giving exams at the end of each month. She could probably get the notes from one of her Hufflepuff classmates.

She looked to her side and found Severus, it sounded foreign to her ears. He looked at her and with regret, "We are doing this, you already agreed. There is no sense in trying to change our minds now." She sounded stronger than she felt.

Severus Snape nodded and without any other words left for his small bathroom. Tonks dressed in her uniform. Her blouse and tie were in the small storage room, she summoned them and mended her skirt to look presentable. She concentrated and morphed her hair to neon green. She walked out of his quarters before he could walk out and end whatever they had.

Tonks continued with her usual routine, the only change was that after 4:00 PM she no longer went to her common room. She spent part of the afternoon with her potions professor. She had asked Professor Sprout to help her accommodate tutoring lessons. Her head of house knew that the young metamorphmagus wanted to be an auror and was convinced that extra lessons would help her achieve her goal.

"Please Severus, Ms. Tonks needs these lessons. This could be a serious advantage for her." Pomona said over breakfast after proposing the lessons.

"Professor Sprout, would you not agree that the girl is clumsy and lacks the ability to behave herself?" he looked at the older woman.

She blushed and stammered, "I, Severus I am asking this as an special favor."

"It can't be done, the girl is an accident waiting to happen. More than once she had knocked cauldrons and caused explosions. It is a wonder that she made it to the advanced potions class. It would be an error to give her more time around cauldrons and toxic ingredients."

"Severus if you do not agree I will personally talk to the headmaster. Let's see what he thinks after I tell him about your posture and lack of encouragement towards our students." The chubby woman huffed and ignored him for the rest of the breakfast.

The young man would not cave, Dumbledore himself had to intercede for the young Hufflepuff. "Her skills are very valuable, I need you to train this girl, she could of use in the future." His electric blue eyes left no argument. Snape reluctantly accepted to tutor Ms. Tonks.

Their first meeting took place the following Monday. She had black hair in a pixie cut, "your appointment was at 4:00. You're late." She smirked and kissed his frown.

"If you had agreed after I convinced professor Sprout asked you to take me under your wing." She said cheekily.

"You have so much to learn. It would have been very suspicious to agree without giving a fight first. Have you ever seen me tutor any other student." He glared and touched her hair. I don't like this color on you.

Tonks changed it to an electric blue. "That's better." He grabbed her by the hips and led her to the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Christmas came and went, Tonks went to America and sent her a postcard from New York. She wore red hair and brown eyes that matched his own. "Merry Christmas Severus xoxo." Such juvenile gesture but Severus smiled a little when she saw her picture. She was dressed as an elf, blowing him a kiss.

Severus finished his drink and listened to some music, these past few months had been good. He could honestly say that he was prone to depression, he was tormented; this time of the year made everything worse, and he felt so alone in the world. No friends or family to look out for him.

He finished dressing himself, he was due to arrive to Malfoy manor for their New Year's celebration. He only looked forward to seeing Draco, and maybe letting him do magic with his wand when Narcissa wasn't looking.

He apparated to the grandly decorated gates, Lucius outdid himself this year. The gates seemed to be made of icy shining diamonds and little snowflakes covered the shrubberies. He walked inside, Draco ran to him, "uncle, uncle. I thought you would never get here." Severus picked up the boy who was still young enough to like being carried on occasion.

"Where is your father?" Severus entered the lavish hall and dropped Draco on the floor.

"He's with mother, in the study talking to Mrs. Zabini. But Blaise is not with her, he's with his dad for the holidays." Draco pouted petulantly.

Severus crouched and said, "If you don't tell anyone I'll give you my wand." Draco's eyes glinted as he nodded energetically.

"Go to your room; don't let Dobby see you." Draco ran with the wand in his hand.

The potions master didn't really need a wand, the times were peaceful and he knew wandless spells. His wand wouldn't really perform up to par in his godson's hands.

He walked to the study, he entered, there sitting behind his mahogany desk, was Lucius, Narcissa on his lap while Victoria Zabini, Yaxley and Goyle laughed about some joke.

"Severus old man, good to see you." Yaxley greeted his former colleague.

Severus pretended to be interested in their always insipid topics and participated in the same diatribe against muggles and half bloods.

By one in the morning the ex death eaters left the manor. "Why do you insist on giving my son your wand? It could be dangerous. He could hurt himself." Narcissa sat gracefully in the sofa across the chimney. She gave him his wand. Draco had fallen asleep clutching it.

"Pish posh dear, our son is a natural." Boasted Lucius to Severus, who smiled as if agreeing, Narcissa however scowled at both men.

"I remember Bella once set Andromeda on fire. Mum and Dad had to rush her to the hospital." Lucius looked angered.

"Do not talk about that blood traitor." Lucius hissed.

Narcissa looked momentarily scared, but Severus came to her rescue. "Lucius, it is not Cissy's fault. After all you were about to marry that blood traitor yourself. Were you not?"

Lucius seemed to relax a little; it was a running joke between them. Malfoy never warmed up to Andromeda, instead he was glad when the woman escaped with Tonks. He would now pursue young Narcissa who was more beautiful and graceful.

"Dear Severus, your memory is sharp as always." They both laughed and drank from their glasses.

Narcissa smiled and said, "Did you know that she had a daughter? Andromeda called her Nymphadora in honor of our late grandmother."

"Oh, Ms. Tonks. Hufflepuff, a very clumsy and gangly child." Severus threw before they could ask if he knew the girl. They laughed and commented on Draco's flying progress. The rest of the night continued tediously slow.

At 2:00 AM Severus made his excuses. He apparated to Hogsmeade and went into the Hog's Head for a drink. He asked for his usual whiskey, he drank the beverage and then felt a hand touch his thigh.

"Hello handsome, want to go upstairs?" a pretty slender redhead in a grey pea coat asked him. He knew that impish smile and the sparkle in those eyes.

"I thought you were staying with your parents, sightseeing the American east coast?" Severus stood up from his chair and kissed her.

Tonks loved those small moments of attention, he was a skilled lover; Tonks didn't have a lot of experience but she was sure that most men were not able to give multiple orgasms only using their hands and tongue. She treasured the details though; she had loved the new Weird Sister's album he had sent her as a Christmas gift. It seemed that her lover remembered her talking about wanting the new album but not having a way to it since it was sold out. She had decided in the spur of the moment to portkey back to Scotland three days before classes resumed.

"I wanted to see you." She winked and kissed his jaw. "What do you say about that room, huh?" Tonks chuckled when he whispered in her ear. "I'm taking you somewhere else, the walls have ears in this place. And I want you screaming my name until you are hoarse."

They exited the ratty pub and apparated to his discreet house. "Get into the bedroom. I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes." She kissed him and went into the bathroom down the hall.

Since being sexually active with Severus, Tonks had experienced so much pleasure. She was more assertive and eager to learn things in the bedroom to please him and please herself. He had a way to make her feel desired and confident in her own body. He never asked her for a body type or any shape. Severus accepted her, just how she decided to come to him. He never tried to make her do something she wasn't comfortable.

Tonks looked at her reflection in the old battered mirror. This whole house was old, worn and sometimes it felt like it suffocated her but then whenever Severus was with her she forgot about her surroundings. She snapped out of her musings and looked at the mirror again. Tall redhead, the body was hers. When she first started this with Severus she had experimented with different body shapes but she never felt the same pleasure as when she was in her own body form. She put on red lipstick and left her face shape alone. Her eyes were dark, she decided to make them emerald green. Tonks wore a sexy green elf costume; she had transfigured her costume from the postcard she sent him.

She breathed deeply before she left the dingy old bathroom. "You can do this. You are a sexy and this man wants you." She crossed the small distance to the small bedroom.

"Happy Christmas." Tonks whispered in front of him. True to his word Severus had closed his eyes. He was on the bed wearing his black pajama bottoms, he opened his dark eyes; there in a sheer short green elf outfit was Nymphadora. But it wasn't really her. She had red hair and green eyes; Severus saw some resemblance to her, to Lily.

Tonks was getting nervous, there she was half naked and being scrutinized by Severus. Usually he pounced on her as soon as they were alone. "Change, I don't like those eyes or that hair." His voice was pained, like he was wounded.

She touched his face and changed back to her dark brown hair and eyes. "That's better." He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her eyes. "I want you just like this." Severus kissed her softly, touching her, making sure that it was Nymphadora and not some ghost that came to torment him.

It was the first night Nymphadora thought of having a real relationship with this man. Not just sex, quick shags or weekend long sex fests. But something real, his touch was different from before. Severus was gentle with her; he kissed, licked and caressed every inch of his body. Finally when she couldn't take anymore he slid into her and let out a moan, and a single word, "Nymphadora" Tonks never thought her name would sound as beautifully from his lips. He usually called her Ms. Tonks or Tonks at her insistence. He rocked into her and she gave into the pleasure he caused her. He slumped into her, breathing heavily and still inside of her. Tonks kissed his head; she hummed and let him be there against her. She felt happy whenever he touched her.

After a nap, Tonks was ready to talk about her trip to America. "Severus I had the best time. We visited Dad's cousin and her family, they live in Manhattan; they are muggles so we had a no magic policy. I decided to stay with my natural colors and shapes. Severus are you paying attention?" She had the feeling that he was somewhere else. Typically she wouldn't be bothered by his attitude, but right now it left a bittersweet taste in her mouth.

"I am listening, I just realized how hard it must have been for you to not morph. You change something about you every single day." He sighed and kissed her chest; Severus liked being against her, feeling her heartbeat and her small gentle hands caressing his head and his stringy hair.

Tonks smiled to herself, "it was hard at first but this is not the first time I have stopped morphing."

"I wouldn't be able to live without magic, I wouldn't know what to do with myself." He breathed deeply and rolled her right nipple. She kissed his nose and rolled them until she was the one resting on his chest.

"How was your Christmas?" she asked quietly as she rested her hand against his pale middle.

"Lonely, I just came from your aunt's she sends her regards." Severus acidly replied.

Tonks frowned, she didn't want to know those people, her mother told her about the Blacks and their bigotry. "I wouldn't call her my aunt." She said just as acidly.

The young woman stopped her caresses and turned around to sleep by him but without touching him. Severus shrugged and turned off the lamps. As it happened during the night he got cold and sought her body warmth. He ended wrapped around Nymphadora who smiled in her sleep and kissed his half parted lips.


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own any characters.

Please review, please pretty please I need to know if you would like me to keep updating or not. If you like the story or not. Again the author is shamelessly asking, begging for reviews. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 5

Nymphadora had learned a lot about Severus Snape. After the Christmas break she made it a mission, she had to know more about the man she was sleeping with. Whenever Severus asked a personal question she would answer. Tonks told him about her first time, what it felt like growing up with the ability to be whomever she wanted.

"It must be nice to have the power to change, to have a clean slate." He whispered once in a rare moment, those moments when they talked and brewed potions. Tonks was a fair brewer and was able to make use of the fake potions lessons from time to time.

"It can be but it can also be the most terrifying thing. When I was younger I used to think that I could never go back to being me. I have been able to change my appearance shortly after I was born. I have to be very careful to remember what I look like. I can control my powers now but as a kid, it scared me when I couldn't go back and have my normal face." Tonks smiled sadly. Severus knew her biggest fears, her aspirations and her likes and dislikes.

"So you do want to be an auror. I thought you just wanted to have an excuse to shag me." Severus stirred some polyjuice potion.

Tonks chopped ingredients and then added them to the potions. "I don't know, I just think it is the best option for me. When I had my career advice professor Sprout remarked my abilities and she said something about putting them to good use. I could do some good with the aurors." She said timidly as she looked sideways to see him smirking.

"The loyal and hard-working Hufflepuff in you." He didn't say much after that, Tonks wasn't sure if he approved of her career choice or not. She bravely asked, "How did you decide to become a teacher."

He seemed to contemplate whether to answer her or not, Tonks was about to change the topic when he said, "I had not other option." He continued stirring and adding ingredients.

After a full minute of silence, she quietly said, "I heard mum talk about your trial." The metamorphmagus knew that he was rumored to be a death eater. She was convinced that he wasn't one. As much as mum talked against him and what a dark wizard he was. Nymphadora was sure that this man wasn't evil. He was dark, sarcastic and sometimes cruel but he wasn't evil.

Severus looked at her and said shortly, "This is ready, we'll let it sit for a day and then come back to add the last of the ingredients." He stalked out of the classroom. Tonks looked up and decided to let him be by himself. She walked out of the dungeons and left for her common room. She was sometimes unsettled by his behaviors; on more than one instance Severus had shut himself. When he stopped talking she knew that it was time for her to leave. She didn't expect the owl and the small note in its beak, "forgive me." Tonks folded the yellowed parchment and kept it in her drawer. Later that night, Severus proved how sorry he was.

Not all of their time was spent having sex. Tonks learned that he liked muggle music; he listened to music in order to relax. It was very refreshing to see him hum rocket man under his breath when he was chopping ingredients or grading essays. The feared Severus Snape also smoked when stressed, a habit he picked up from his late father. "Are you telling me that your wizard father smoked fags?" she taunted. They were on the astronomy tower. He didn't want Dumbledore to scold him for smoking in the dungeons. "The old man sics his bloody house elves on me." Severus grumbled as they walked to the tower.

Tonks was waiting for an answer when Severus puffed out some of the smoke. "My father was a muggle." He said, he couldn't help but laugh when the young girl spat some of her vodka.

"How the hell did you end up in Slytherin then?" she was astonished; as far as she knew Slytherin only accepted purebloods.

"My mother was pureblood, Eileen Prince, she eloped with my father and had me." he shrugged and lit another fag. He didn't exactly know why he was telling her all of this. He was a very guarded person, only a few people knew about his blood status. Nymphadora Tonks was now part of the selected few, Severus always felt better after talking to the girl. The twenty nine year old could talk to this girl, unlike others she didn't judge him or tried to make her opinion known. Nymphadora listened, she knew better than ask question he didn't want to answer. The Hufflepuff was very perceptive and left him be whenever he was cranky or didn't want to talk.

"So you are just like me then. Was your mother also escaping a pureblood marriage contract?" the violet haired girl asked.

Severus noted a hint of reproach in her voice, "she wasn't, my mother fell in love with a factory worker. Tobias, my father didn't know she was a witch until after a year of marriage when he caught her doing elemental magic. She was pregnant with me and it was me doing the magic." Severus said simply. He'd never talked about his childhood and family with anyone else but Nymphadora was the most loyal person he knew.

He remembered last week when he heard her admonishing Charles Weasley "he had to give you that detention and take away all of those points. Yu could have blown him up when you mixed asphodel in the bottle." "What were you thinking? He could have died." Nymphadora's hair turned a livid red; the professor heard the anger in his voice. She didn't even let Weasley explain, she turned her head around and left with Ms. Shield.

Tonks smiled, "Does your father like magic?" she asked wanting to know more about him and his life. "Not much, he didn't really care for it. He couldn't live with the fact that my mother was more powerful than him. It hurt his pride."

She nodded, her friend Natalia was also a half-blood, and her mother divorced her wizard father after she was born. "My parents fought most of the time. At some point my father grew bitter, and resented her. I supposed he liked me a little, but he never showed it much. When I entered Hogwarts he decided to go to university. He became an accountant."

"Do you talk to your parents?" Tonks perceived that he wasn't so attached to his parents.

"My mother died from dragon pox five years ago." He said not really wanting to talk about Eileen, he loved his mother but the witch had always been cold to him.

"I'm sorry." Tonks couldn't imagine what would feel like to lose her mum. She hugged him and kissed his cheek. Severus smiled; she was always so comforting, willing to believe that a kiss would make everything better.

"My father became depressed, I guess he loved her after all. He committed suicide after a month of her death. In his note he apologized for not being a better father." Severus said sadly. "I never got the chance to tell him that it didn't matter that he was enough for me."

Tonks wanted to cry for this man. "I resented him when I started Hogwarts, you see he wasn't special like mother or me. He was just a muggle, who liked to drink and watch Manchester United play on the telly. I would give anything to have him back and watch them play bloody football." He whispered to the night air.

"I watched football with my dad too. Mum would get so mad; before I started Hogwarts we played football on the yard." Her eyes twinkled with happiness. "I am a Liverpool fan." He looked at her with contempt. "Manchester United is way better." Severus continued to smoke his fag.

Tonks snorted, "Liverpool is ahead, by at least 10 points." She smirked and taunted him. Severus relaxed and started educating her on the much and better qualities of Manchester United." He was very passionate; Tonks could hear the northern accent coming out of his voice. She laughed and he stopped talking, he frowned, "I don't find anything funny."

She laughed some more, "I can't see you cheering at the stadium." He laughed too. "I'm the first to admit that it has been years since I went to a match, dad used to take me when I was a kid, mum would get mad at him and they would row. But he always took me, whenever we had the money."

"We'll go, when we have time we'll go see Manchester United and Liverpool play. Of course Liverpool will wipe the floor with your team." Severus scowled at her; she kissed his lips and left the tower. It was time for her to go.

Severus watched her run down to her common room. He looked at the stars; and wondered what would have happened if he met Nymphadora earlier while he was in school. What would have happened if she were older? If she had been in school when he was in school. Would they have been friends? Severus thought about it and concluded that he would have alienated her just like he did Lily. But he doubted that Nymph would have left him alone.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own Potterverse

Please review!

Chapter 6

"Oh yes, Severus harder please. Fuck me." Nymphadora wailed and collapsed in the bed. Severus' weight heavy on her back; he kissed her naked shoulder. "I missed you a lot." She said her face against his black sheets. She didn't have the courage to say it to his face. He nuzzled her neck and rolled her so that he was facing her. Severus touched her cheeks. "It truly was a long summer." He kissed her again, he wanted to tell her that he missed her as well, not just the sex but also her silly questions and hair. The way she laughed or chuckled when they heard music together.

"This year is going to be harder; we won't have much time together." She pouted, her hair turning a mousy brown.

He frowned, "I don't like that color, change it back." He imperiously commanded. Nymphadora hair's turned platinum blond, Severus laughed, "Too much like your dear aunt." She scrunched her nose; her hair lengthened, and became a forest green.

"That's better; now, I will have you twice a week this year. We still have your lessons." He kissed her head; she dropped her head to his chest kissing some of his skin.

"We'll have to cut the hours. I have to score O's in defense, potions, transfiguration and charms if I want to apply for the aurors." They talked about this, Severus wasn't keen on the idea but it was her life and what she wanted to do with it was her business. "I suppose I could go into law or some job at the ministry if I don't qualify." The ministry trained their recruits and was very strict when it came to evaluating new prospects.

"I will train you for the time being. I am very good at defense." He said distractedly while running his fingers through her green hair.

"You would do that for me?" Tonks gave him a watery smile. Severus noticed that she was about to cry. "Don't do that, I don't like it when you cry." She cried and hugged him.

He hugged her tightly and kissed her neck. She kissed him gently trying to convey all the love she felt for him. Nymphadora knew that she was in love with him, for months she tried to convince herself that she was just experiencing an infatuation, that it was just physical attraction or perhaps just the fact that he was older and her first real lover. But over the summer she understood that what she felt for Severus was real.

Tonks was sitting in her living room, when her mother burst in, "you wouldn't believe whom I ran into in Diagon Alley." Andromeda didn't wait for her daughter to answer her. "Severus Snape." Tonks perked up when she heard the name. She tried to sound disinterested, "How is he?"

"I wouldn't know, the man is the most possibly intolerable man I have ever met. Sirius was so right about him; he was an awful boy and he grew up to be a death eater." Andromeda said with disdain, in her face Tonks could see the disgust clear.

"You don't know him, he's a good man and a great professor." Tonks' hair reddened, Andromeda looked at her and drawled, "and I suppose you know him better." The girl was about to argue but her mother beat her to it. "Your dear professor was one of the most vicious death eaters, he's a murderer, I am quite shocked that Dumbledore has not removed him from his post as a professor. Well at least he's always denied his request for the DADA post."

Tonks wanted to argue to defend her lover, to tell her mother that Severus could never do that. These were all rumors; they could not be true. In her mind they were made up, she would never ask but if they were true there had to be an explanation. It was then when it hit her, she loved him. She trusted Severus to be a good person; Tonks believed in him, a person like Severus could never be evil.

"Are you ok, you're miles away." He said to her hair, Tonks nodded and placed a kiss on his heart.

They met every week for her potions and defense lessons, Friday night was theirs to make love, talk and practice her skills in dueling, transfigurations and charms. Usually by the end of the night Tonks was sweaty, tired, and cranky. "Do you have to be so harsh on me?" she would shout after extremely long sessions of dueling. She was exhausted and he looked barely disheveled.

"You want to get into the auror's program, well this is nothing compared to how they train recruits." He smirked when she undressed and went into his private bathroom.

He let her calm a little before waking in himself, he slowly divested himself and entered the black bathtub, Severus kissed her shoulders and she sighed, "that's the least you could do, considering that my whole body hurts and you are the reason why."

He rubbed her sides and her legs tenderly, "that feels good," she rested her head on his shoulder and let him massage and wash her body.

"Are you going to the Yule Ball?" he asked as he rinsed her head. "Are you asking?" she kissed his quirky smile.

"You know I can't take Pomona and Minerva would have me by the balls." He said seriously.

Tonks laughed hysterically "You have such a sense of humor. Nobody would believe me if I tell them." She finished chuckling.

"To answer your question, yes, I am going with Andrew Baldwin." Severus scowled, he knew that boy, blond, hazel eyes, not especially good looking. He always ogled Nymph in the corridors and in the Great Hall.

"Clearly your tastes are questionable; but whom am I to question them." He hissed. Tonks was a little relieved to hear a hint of jealousy in his voice.

"He's harmless and a perfect gentleman. Besides if I accepted Charlie's offer I would have to snog him." Severus turned her head sharply. "You will not snog anyone, understand that Nymphadora." Severus' eyes filled with fire. Tonks carefully assented. He kissed her brutally, marking her. He took her that night, every touch possessive he left marks as if to ensure his territory.

Two weeks later he was getting ready for the bloody ball. This year the ball was mandatory, every ten years or so Hogwarts held these balls for the students. It was to take place before the break. Severus hated such occasions. It was the first year that he was attending one of these. He wore his usual black suit, the only change were his robes. Minerva had threatened with making them purple if he showed up with his usual black so he chose forest green robes instead.

He walked to the Great Hall, as he entered he noticed his fellow professor, all dressed in their best garments. He scanned the room and noticed her first, her hair was strawberry blond short and curly. Her dress was silver; it reached her knees, it was a pretty dress. She looked beautiful like the Nymph she was. Severus couldn't take his eyes away from her. She was dancing, laughing with her friends, and enjoying herself.

For the first time Severus felt regretful of sleeping with her. Nymphadora deserved so much better. She deserved a young man, someone who wasn't tainted by evil or who had promised to protect the Boy Who Fucking Lived. He drank and tried to distract himself from the fact that he was corrupting something as beautiful as his Nymph.

He was drunk, something he didn't experience much but he managed to get into his quarters. There in his bed lay Nymphadora, half naked and ready to be fucked. Severus decided to enjoy her one last time. He let her undress him, kiss him and caress him. He reciprocated, kissing her as gently as he could, cherishing like he never did before. Tonight was their last night; he couldn't keep on soiling her. He had to stop this before it was too late. His foolish heart already considered this young woman to be a friend a good, pure and loving soul.

"Severus I need you now." Her delicate voice reached him through his fog, he slid home and almost wanted to cry at the pleasure and sadness he felt. This was the last time he would be inside of her. He kissed her mouth once again and made love to this girl who became his only friend.

Nymphadora felt something change that night, she had considered their nights as making love but for the first time she felt Severus was giving himself completely to her. It was as if they were one, a single entity. Perhaps he was feeling the same love that she was feeling. With one last thrust Severus spilled himself into her and she contracted around him.

"I love you." She said valiantly when he slumped next to her. "We can't do this anymore." He said simply.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Please read and review. I am going on vacation so I won't be updating for a while, again I ask you to please review. It seems like this story is not capturing your attention. I would like to know how you feel about it, if you want me to continue writing or not.

Chapter 7

Numbness, she felt numb after Severus uttered those words "We can't do this anymore." She sat up and saw him get up as well; he dressed and tossed her silver dress to her.

"As of tonight this liaison is terminated." He said tonelessly. "I just told you I loved you." Tonks spoke woodenly, she felt used, cheap. A feeling she never encountered not even after that first time when he didn't know who she was.

"I don't love you and will not love you. I was clear when we first started this." He didn't have the courage to look at her.

"I want to know why you are ending it." she put on her dress and walked up to him. Tonks tried to reach his shoulder but he shrugged her away.

"I used you Ms. Tonks you were my plaything but I have grown bored with you." His eyes glinted with cruelty, his face was an evil mask but Tonks saw through the façade.

She smiled and touched his face, "that's not true, you're a good man." She kissed his hard cold lips.

He laughed cruelly and batted her hands away, "I am a death eater, I could never be with a half breed like you." He sneered.

Tonks cried silently, "Don't say that, and please don't call me that." Severus was breaking her heart. "Please don't ever say that" she attempted to kiss him but Severus moved.

"I am sure you won't tell anyone about this, I do not wish to see you in here when I come back. Needless to say that our extracurricular lessons are also over." Severus entered the bathroom.

He vomited, he was repulsive; Nymph loved him. "It is the best for her, she cannot be saddled with an death eater." Severus agreed with Dumbledore, the Dark Lord was alive somewhere. It would start again, and he could not offer her anything but a life of secrecy and deceit. His Nymph didn't deserve that; she was pure, better than him. Severus heaved once again; bile rising as he dropped to his knees one more time.

Tonks didn't know how she managed to get to her dormitory. She peeled the sliver dress; she showered and then went to sleep. Why would he do this, he was a death eater, he couldn't be one. She loved him, how could she love him when he was evil. Severus never felt anything but brief desire for her. He thought she was a half-breed. That word cut her so deeply, she'd heard it before, when she was a young child and her parents took her to Diagon Alley. She asked her mum but Andromeda Tonks gently said to forget about that. So Nymphadora looked the word up in his father's magical encyclopedia it was an insult, referring to one's ancestry. She didn't understand it then but when she entered Hogwarts one of her friends told her that the Slytherins called her that not only because she was a half blood but also because she could morph.

The young woman cried herself to sleep, she remembered all the long night she spent by his side loving him, talking to him, trying to understand him. It was all a fantasy in her young head. Severus just used her, not Severus anymore. Professor Snape, he was no longer Severus to her. When she finally exhausted herself she had nightmares, once again they all featured him. He humiliated her, insulted, belittled her; it was worse than what had happened earlier. In her nightmares, his face contorted with rage. He boasted to his other death eaters, about bedding, using and discarding her.

If there was any consolation it was that she was going away. Her mother had insisted that she come home for the holidays. "Nymphadora, you will come home, we don't see you anymore and it will be worse after you finish school." Her mother angrily demanded. Tonks didn't plan on going but after yesterday night it was her only option.

She packed her things; she found the Christmas gift she bought for him. It was an old black leather journal; Severus loved to experiment with new potions and charms, he always scribbled along notebooks, spare pieces of parchment and even some discarded essays. The sight of it made her want to cry again, she didn't want to see it but she couldn't throw it away either. Tonks pressed a loving kiss to it. Severus didn't deserve anything from her but she would give this to him. Something inside of her could not reconcile her lover and friend with the person who had shattered her heart yesterday night. It was as if someone had changed the quiet, funny and loving man she knew for someone entirely new. The metamorphmagus wrapped the journal and sent it to him with a school owl.

Severus opened his eyes and examined the room around him. He was in his quarters; it was the day after the Yule Ball. He remembered the night before and wanted to vomit again. There was no time for regrets; this was for the greater good, her benefit. Nymphadora would find someone else to love in no time. "Stop moping Severus; this shall pass too." He showered with ice cold water; trying to forget about her. The dark haired man tried to think about the fact that if he could live without Lily he could surely get over Nymphadora. "Shut your emotions, shut yourself." Became a mantra that morning until her gift arrived in the early afternoon. It was a small package; he opened it, at first he thought it was one of his new volumes of potions that had arrived but then he saw the simple black leather journal. In the first page there was a note. "_I know how you love to scribble on almost anything, and that you are an incredibly messy man when it comes to remembering where you put your papers. So this is to help you. Love, Nymphadora xoxox._"

Severus caressed the book lovingly, this was the last gift, he was sure that Nymph had not remembered to take out that page, it was written yesterday. The potions master smiled sadly but decided to remain strong, inside he was wounded but this note reinforced his musings, such a lovely woman like her deserved a good man, and Severus Snape could not be accused of being one.

Tonks looked at herself in the mirror, she was almost ready to leave Hogwarts and board the train home. She didn't feel like dissaparating, she needed time to think and be by herself. She looked just like she felt, horrible. She had bags under her eyes from not sleeping well, her eyes were red same as her blotchy nose. She was pale and her hair hung lifeless around her face, it had taken a mousy brown color.

She sighed and tried to morph but couldn't, it wasn't the first time. Not morphing had happened before, happy thoughts, immediately an image popped into her head. Severus and her laughing while she danced to a new Weird Sister's song, Severus laughed with his whole body, his eyes sparkled, his face brightened, his shoulders shook with mirth and the sound was something beautiful. "He pretended to like you, he used you. Stop thinking about him." She shouted to the mirror. Crying when not even anger would make her hair transform.

Nymphadora spent the whole train ride sleeping, she didn't want to do anything but sleep. Sleep until all the pain and hurt went away. As soon as she got home the witch waved at her parents and went straight to her room. "Ted, I think something's happened to her." Andromeda anxiously looked at her husband.

"Don't worry, she's probably had a bad day that's all." Ted distractedly looked up from his magazine.

Andromeda frowned but decided to follow her husband's advice, by Christmas however it was perfectly clear that something was wrong with Nymphadora. She didn't eat as much as she used to, her festive spirit was gone and her eyes were always red.

Although Andromeda tried, the relationship with her daughter wasn't the best. Nymphadora was a tomboy, Andromeda tried to groom her daughter into a proper lady but she was having none of it. There was also a strain because as much as Andromeda Tonks wanted to deny it she had believed her daughter would be her salvation card. Grandbabies were supposed to soften grandparents but the Blacks turned even more after knowing that the little girl was a metamorphmagus. So it was Ted's job to investigate Nymphadora's current mood.

That Boxing Day, Ted Tonks knocked on his only daughter's bedroom door. He heard shuffling sounds on the other side of the room, after a few minutes his girl opened the door. Her face was pale, her eyes red and her nose runny from crying. "Hey rainbow." He said softly. His face concerned but his eyes pleading that he tell her something. The last week had been hell, his little girl was depressed, and he knew that. Meda tended to have depressive episodes from time to time. It seemed psychological disorders ran through the Black family.

Nymphadora looked at his dad and hugged him fiercely. "He doesn't love me daddy." She finally let it all out and bawled her eyes out in front of her father. He consoled her, just like when she was little and fell from the bikes, scraped her knees or when her favorite muggle show was cancelled.

Ted tried to talk to her; he couldn't help but feel relief. It would pass, it wasn't that bad. He of course didn't say anything, he had been young once, and Ted remembered what it felt to be scorned by someone you care about deeply. Andromeda eloped with him without really loving him, she had been afraid, almost sold to the Malfoys. She wanted to escape and he was conveniently there to catch her.

Little by little he managed to make her fall in love with him. It took years, but eventually Andromeda Black said those words to him. "I love you." She'd said them when Nymphadora went to Hogwarts.

Father and daughter were sitting in the bed. "Rainbow, tell me what happened?" Ted, kissed her forehead. Tonks wiped her face with her hands and sat in front of her dad. "I love him, I know this sound childish but I really do love him." She said with shining eyes and with his conviction.

"Daddy, promise you won't tell mum. I will tell you everything but only if you make and unbreakable vow." Ted frowned but agreed to his daughter's terms. They stretched their hands and performed the spell.

Nymphadora needed to talk to someone. She would not say his name but she needed to tell someone about this. Her dad had always kept all of her secrets; she had no reason to doubt him. She couldn't tell her friends, in fact she wasn't close to anyone really. There was no way she would tell mum, she would see right through her feeble attempts at deception.

Ted was ready to hear about pregnancies or other scare; his girl had stopped calling him daddy when she was nine. Now it was only used when she was really sad. Nymphadora shut the door and breathed, "He is older than me, I won't tell you his name but he is definitely younger than you."

"We were together for more than a year, but I didn't mean anything to him. He said he couldn't be with me anymore after I said I loved him." Her voice cracked and tears rolled down her cheeks again.

Ted hated seeing her like this, he hugged her, "it will pass, and he doesn't deserve you." He caressed her cheek and said with a smile. "He's a fool, you are wonderful. Brilliant even, a bright beautiful young woman."

She shook her head, "he said he couldn't be with me, he called me a half breed, he was disgusted, he used me and I still love him. I can't get over him. He is not this cruel man. I know him, he is good; he used to care about me, he knew everything Daddy. He told me that he wasn't looking for love, he was clear and I knew the risks he didn't promise me anything." Tonks flushed and looked away.

"Whenever we were together, it felt like he loved me. I felt like I was floating, he was so loving, gentle and in his arms I felt invincible." Ted heard his baby girl speak about this man in such duality; by the blush in her face it was clear that the relationship was physical as well.

He tried his best understanding voice, "I don't know this bloke but if he let you go he isn't worth it. It hurts I know it does, if there is someone who knows about unrequited love that person is me." Nymphadora knew about her parents' rocky relationship. Andromeda loved Ted but the first years of Nymphadora's life were spent wondering if her parents loved each other. That changed after her first year at Hogwarts, they seemed in love, kissing, laughing and just adoring each other.

"Listen carefully Rainbow, he has ended the relationship, you have to move on. You are young and will find someone else. You will save years of pain by moving on. If he's meant for you he will come back to you, the best thing to do now is to put distance and let things unfold." Ted looked into her sad brown eyes, "I believe in fate, if he is for you he will come back to you." Tonks cried and hugged him. She now needed him to comfort her.

After that talk Tonks went to sleep and woke up after about fourteen hours, she felt groggy and her head ached but strangely enough she felt better. She ate a sandwich and watched midnight shows on the telly. It was the first step toward recovery. Slowly nut surely, Tonks regained strength, she ate more, went outside, even talked to Andromeda and laughed when her father joked or tripped.

All of this progress was threatened by the start of Hogwarts' new school semester. "You will do this Nymphadora Vulpecula Tonks." She cringed when she said that out loud. The young witch was about to enter Hogwarts; her tactic would be to ignore him. She couldn't morph so it would be easier for him to ignore her too. It had worked for about an hour until she went to the Great Hall. There in the staff table was the object of her suffering. Severus Snape in all his dark glory staring menacingly at the younger students. Her heartbeat increased, her palms sweated and the lump in her throat quadrupled in size but she managed to endure the ordeal without crying. She was proud of that, it hurt, but she would soldier on. The optimist in her wanted to believe that she would forget him in no time but it became excruciatingly untrue when she laid eyes on him. Under all of the hurt and sadness her heart fluttered at the mere sight of him. She was a junkie, a heroin junkie. Seeing him brought the rush, the euphoria and then she would go back to craving him. Wanting him, needing him seemed to be natural for her but she would not humiliate herself, she was stronger than this. Nymphadora Tonks would not approach Severus Snape.

Potions classes were a torture to be endured twice every week. She entered the classroom and focused on her work only. She was efficient and managed to finish of all her work in record time. Tonks didn't dare look up during her lessons, she was afraid to give herself away. He was a very skilled legilimens; she knew it was impossible to occlude when he was in her vicinity.

The Hufflepuff successfully avoided any contact with Severus Snape for about three weeks. She couldn't morph yet, it was harder to wake up, and face the people around her. Everyone noticed that she wasn't the same; it was not only the fact that her hair remained limp, mousy brown and that she didn't laugh as much or really talked to her friends anymore. By the end of the third week, Nymphadora went down the dungeons for her last potions class of the week. She walked to her workbench and sat down. The witch waited patiently for him to address the class. "Settle down, professor Snape is indisposed, he won't be covering today's class or next week's classes." Professor McGonagall spoke in her usual voice, she glared at those students who dared to clap or grin enthusiastically.

"Don't look so happy Mr. Weasley. Professor Snape left precise instructions for you to complete during his absence." McGonagall conjured instructions on the board and proceeded to sit down and open a book.

"You may start now." All the students looked at each other and began shuffling around for the required ingredients. Nymphadora finished the first phase of the polyjuice potion and approached the desk.

She breathed deeply, and bravely asked the older witch, "Is professor Snape well?" McGonagall couldn't hide the surprise in her face, "He is fine Ms. Tonks, I am sure Severus appreciates your concern." The animagus said shortly.

Tonks nodded and left the room, she wanted to know more; he had to be in the castle. The professor said that he was indisposed, was he sick. What had happened? "You should not care, Severus lies, he feels disgust for you. He made that perfectly clear, you are not to worry about him." Tonks spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about Severus and imagining terrible things. "It has to be something important, he's never been absent for any of his lectures." The witch hoped to catch a glimpse of him in the Great Hall but he wasn't there either.

It was slowly killing her, not knowing where he was if he was in danger or sick. Tonks bid her time and waited until midnight; she disillusioned herself and prayed to whatever Gods to make it safely to the dungeons. Her prayers were heard, she had some close calls; she tripped down some false steps and was almost caught by Mrs. Norris but she made it to the dungeons. She walked past the classrooms and went deeper into the cold dungeons. The other entrance to his quarters was just under a torch. She remembered his password, and hoped that he didn't change it during the break. "Purpureus." She whispered. The door slid open just a few centimeters. This meant that Severus had company over, usually Tonks would have gone back but she foolishly decided to enter the quarters.

She walked past the small corridor and skipped the door to the classroom and the lab. She then entered his bedroom, she walked carefully and then found something heart wrenching. Madam Pomfrey, professor McGonagall and the Headmaster around his bed. Severus was in bed, his skin had a greenish tint to it, he seemed to be sweating and muttering things. "Poppy, is there something we could do?" McGonagall anxiously asked, she caressed his head and muttered something to him.

"It is useless Minerva, I've given him the cure, he's not responding to it." Madam Pomfrey sighed and gestured to the Headmaster. "Albus we knew this could happen. He's never had dragon pox."

"But you vaccinated him. I made sure to remind him of the shots every year." McGonagall almost shrieked at Poppy as if saying that it was his fault that Severus was this sick.

"Minerva, he's a half blood. Don't look at me like that, when it comes to magical diseases it rarely matters but it seems that it does in his case. Remember when he was in fourth year he suffered that cold and it took him almost a month to recover. We ran tests, we called his parents; Tobias was beside himself, he blamed himself but Eileen simply said, "It is the Princes' curse. I thought it was a lie, for my mother threatened me and said that my children would die."

The transfiguration professor shook her head as if in denial, "That's not true, Severus was never a sickly child." Minerva's voice broke when Severus whimpered, and said "make it stop mum, make it stop." Albus stepped in and said, "Tiberius Prince designed the curse to make sure that all of his sons married pureblood witches. If any of them had any affairs the children would get sick an die." The old man said sadly.

Tonks' heart stopped beating for a second, he was going to die, and surely that was not going to happen. "Minerva we are not there yet. Severus is strong, the antidotes are not working but this boy has withstood the cruciatus curse. He'll get trough this, we just have to let his body battle the illness." Poppy said carefully, trying to give all the information to her friends.

Professor McGonagall looked hopeful, "I have to be clear. He is in danger. Ever since he came back from the winter break he's been weak. He doesn't eat or seem to sleep properly. His defenses are low; it all depends on tonight and tomorrow. He's feverish and having flashbacks, after he's out of this stage we all can breathe easier." Madam Pomfrey sighed and waved her wand around the bed. "We'll know when he wakes up."

"I'll stay with him." McGonagall was about to sit down next to Severus when the Headmaster frowned, "I can't let you Minerva, you've not had Dragon Pox yet, and he'll be extremely contagious the next few hours."

Poppy nodded, Minerva wasn't as young as Severus, the last thing they needed was Minerva sick too. Tonks held her breath as the three adults left the room; fortunately they exited through the classroom passageway. She didn't move until she heard the classroom door shut.

She advanced closer to the bed, and really looked at her former lover. Severus was wearing a grey simple t-shirt and some grey shorts, he sweated profusely, he whimpered and trashed in bed. "Please hold me, Lily hold me." Tonks paled, however she toed off her slippers and climbed to the bed, she sat next to him and then cradled his body. She had dragon pox when she was seven; she shushed him and hugged him. It was like they never parted ways, she cried a little and kissed his greenish forehead. "Lily please, listen I didn't mean to, Lils no." his voice was full of anxiety and it pained her ears, he sounded so vulnerable. She'd never heard such a broken voice. Who was this Lily?

Tonks kissed his brow and continued soothing him with her voice. "I'm here love, nothing will ever happen to you." He calmed somewhat, after some time he let out the most heart wrenching sob, "Lily nooo, please, Lils wake up. I love you, I switched sides, I'm a spy for the Light, you were not supposed to die. Lily please." Severus sobbed and cried hard. Tonks cried with him, "he's a spy, oh god he's good." Tonks cried, and hugged him tight. "My Nymph, please don't leave me." He said breathlessly and fell asleep for a few hours. Tonks kept her hold and struggled to come to terms with what she heard. Severus had been in love with a girl named Lily, he called this girl Nymph; he switched sides because of her. Lily was dead. Tonks kept crying whenever Severus would get restless and shiver as if he was cold.

"I'm here love, you're fine." She whispered quietly against his ears, "I'll never leave you." Tonks kept caressing and kissing him, until at 3:00 AM she fell asleep too. Severus' fever broke during the early morning. He felt something heavy against his left side and saw brown hair and pale a pale neck. He knew that hair and that neck. His Nymph was here, why was she here? Severus slowly started to remember; he was sick, he had Dragon Pox since last Saturday; it was a bad case according to Madam Pomfrey since he was already an adult. He felt tired, thirsty and everything hurt. Severus felt her move, she inhaled deeply and looked up, his eyes remained closed, he wanted to enjoy her here. Nymphadora sat up as quietly as she could. "You look better love." Severus felt her hand against his forehead, "No fever." She kissed the spot above his left eyebrow and then kissed his crooked nose and lips.

It took all of his willpower to not respond to her sweet lips, "I love you, I know you don't but I still love you. I won't push you but I have to stop loving you. It hurts me, I have to stop." Her voice broke, and he felt a tear in his neck. His Nymph kissed his eyelids and his lips once again. She was able to leave the bed without noticing his eyes on her. Nymphadora looked disheveled, her face was a mess but to Severus she was a sight for the sore eyes.

"Goodbye Severus." She said to his prone figure before leaving his quarters through the passageway that lead to the other entrance, the one with the password.

The wizard sighed and felt a pang of regret. He could run to her, ask for forgiveness and admit that he wanted to be with her. He knew better, Nymph would do better without him. He closed his eyes and waited for Minerva, he knew for sure that Minerva would come in a few minutes. He didn't have to wait a long time; she came bustling to the door, "Severus, dear boy. You are awake." She said in a relieved tone. The witch settled next to him and took his temperature.

"I'll call Poppy, she has to examine you." Minerva sent her tabby cat patronus. Severus answered multiple questions and listened carefully as Poppy detailed the course of the illness. According to the witch he had to wait for another week before resuming his classes. It was respite from seeing her, which was better, he would have time to think and stay away from her. Severus' dreamed about her every night, her body, the passion in which she gave herself to her. He needed her; he wanted to have her, to whisper things in her ears and to make love to her. The wizard however was conscious that he had to keep away from her; he didn't want to hurt her more than he already had. He would not be responsible for her death; he would not lose another woman he loved. He didn't deserve to be happy with his Nymph. "Not Nymph, Ms. Tonks. She will not be saddled with a piece of work like me." he thought bitterly and drank the potion Poppy left. He recognized it as an itching relief potion.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Happy New Year, please review. This chapter is dedicated to those who have reviewed, especially Outofthisworldgal. Keep reading and reviewing, let me know your thoughts about the story .

Chapter 8

The flat was in disarray, nothing really new. She didn't have time to clean up; during the past six months Tonks had trained from Mondays to Sundays in hopes of finally becoming an Auror. She was almost certain that this was it; she was finally going to become an Auror. She anxiously waited for the owl that would either confirm her acceptance or reject her. Tonks trained for three years before her final exams. She failed last year, she had narrowly missed the acceptable scores for defense and physical endurance. This year she focused on her physical strength and defense tactics. She was sure this was the year for her. It was four in the afternoon and the results were supposed to arrive by three o' clock. Tonks paced around the mismatched furniture and the discarded clothing.

She had a cup of tea, read half the prologue of a muggle book called "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and even attempted to cook dinner. Then at four forty three a very unremarkable owl perched herself on her windowsill. Tonks gasped and took the parchment from the ministry owl. "Thank you." The owl flew away.

Tonks sat on her favorite blue chair and opened the wax seal on the letter. She inhaled deeply and read the letter. The ministry of magic blah, blah. "You have passed the requirements for the Auror Program, please report for duty this coming Monday at 7:00 AM." The metamorphmagus jumped in glee and danced around the room. She laughed and left her disorganized flat, she was going to celebrate; she would call Maggie, her friend from the building and dance the night away.

Her mentor was Kingsley Shacklebolt, a tall black man with a deep calming voice; she quickly made friends with him. "You are a riot, girl, we'll have so much fun" his voice full with mischief and camaraderie. Mad eye was no longer working with the aurors so Kings became one of her closest friends that year she learned so much from him, he was an excellent auror and friend. When no other auror took her seriously Kings did. He never underestimated her or made cruel jokes about her incoordination or poor sense of fashion as other called it.

It was because of that fact that Tonks did not hesitate when that June in 1995 he asked, "do you trust me?" he looked at her and sipped his cup of tea. They were having dinner at a bistro in muggle London near the ministry. "With my life," she said, her mouth half full with chips.

He nodded somberly, "What do you think of You Know Who?" Tonks was not entirely surprised by this question. There were rumors going on, apparently Harry Potter had battled You Know Who last week during the Triwizard Tournament. Cedric Diggory died that night. Tonks vaguely remembered the quiet but very intelligent boy.

She chose her words very carefully, she didn't want to lose her friend, "I don't think Potter killed Diggory."

"Tonks, you know I don't believe that either." His voice encouraged her to say more; the witch looked at her mentor and replied calmly. "I stand with Dumbledore on this, I know Mad Eye and I believe him." She would never doubt the old Auror, he had been kept in a trunk for about a year and Tonks was sure that he wasn't as paranoid as other believed him to be.

Kingsley smiled and got up. "I need you to read this for me." he gave her a piece of old parchment, "Don't say it out loud," he cautioned before she opened the folded piece.

"The Order of the Phoenix Headquarters is in 12 Grimmauld Place." After she read it the inks faded. "What is this Kings?" She'd never heard of the Order of the Phoenix. The black man smiled mischief in his eyes. "I trust you too Dora and there is people I want you to meet tonight." He grabbed her sleeve and apparated them.

Tonks drew her wand, "don't ever do that again." She hissed, the witch looked around, they were still in London, or so she thought. Kingsley asked her, "Repeat the contents of the parchment you just read."

Tonks did so, before her between houses number 11 and 13 appeared another house numbered 12. "Let's go quick before the muggles notice." Kingsley once again yanked her forward.

She entered the house, she didn't know what to expect or what she might find inside of the house. The first thing she noticed was an old painting cursing at her. "Filthy half-breed, mudblood lover, how I pity my dearest brother. The shame of spawning your mother." An old and slightly disheveled woman said through the painting.

Tonks recognized her as her aunt Walburga "nice to meet you auntie." The girl curtsied and irreverently blew her a kiss. The painting shrieked, and cursed her once again. Kingsley laughed and led her deeper into the house which was quite in shambles. "This place could use a cleaning."

"I apologize for the state of my home but Kreacher is at best useless when it comes to cleaning." A bearded man said walking out of a room, wait she knew him. Tonks aimed his wand at the wizard. "You are Sirius Black." She said with venom in her voice, this man betrayed the Potters and killed twelve muggles, he was also her cousin; but Dumbledore stepped in front of him before she could disarm him.

"What are you doing here Headmaster?" this night became more and more surreal as it went on.

"Nymphadora, it is so nice to see you. Let me congratulate you on your fast and promising career as an auror. Now before I answer all your questions we must have a conversation first. If you would please follow me to the library," the older wizard said pleasantly as he directed her to the same room where Black stepped out.

The room was in no better condition that the rest of the house. "Have a sit Nymphadora."

Tonks shook her head, please don't call me that; the only ones who called her that were her mother and Him, it had been almost a year since she last thought of him. Dumbledore nodded and waved his hand and suddenly the room resembled his office at Hogwarts. The last time she'd been in his office was in fourth year when McGonagall caught her drunk in Hogsmeade.

"I am sure you have many questions, I will answer them in due time." he interlaced his fingers, his lightning blue eyes piercing through her.

"I must praise your abilities in occlumency, but surely you know that your shields pose no obstacle for my abilities as a legimens." Dumbledore smiled when Tonks frowned.

"You are here because I deem you trusty, because your powers I believe could be an asset to the war." He said somberly.

"The Order of the Phoenix is an organization founded by me in effort to stop Lord Voldemort." As expected Tonks flinched, she as many others were conditioned to respond with fear and anxiety to that name, "He is back, Harry Potter fought him two weeks ago." Dumbledore paused, Tonks looked straight at him and nodded. She believed in Moody.

"Nymphadora, excuse me Tonks, I would like you to join The Order of the Phoenix, your talents and your spirit are what we need to win this war." Dumbledore saw her light flinch. "We are headed for war, make no mistake Nymphadora, he is back and we need all the help we can get."

Tonks looked at him and asked directly, "of course, I'll join. Just tell me what would be my role." She agreed without any hesitation, the headmaster was right, times were changing, she was seven years old the last time he was in power. Tonks remembered being scared all the time. At night Dad would make sure that all the doors in the house were magically closed and always warded the house, especially her room.

"Very well Nymphadora, Kingsley assures me that you are reliable and one of the best trainees he's gotten in a long time. I am absolutely certain that you will be an asset to our fight." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled.

He stood up and pointed to the door, "I'll introduce you to the rest of the Order." They walked to what appeared to be the kitchen. She saw some people trying to clean the place. She recognized Charlie and Bill, "Weasleys" she ran up to Charlie, it had been at least three years since she last saw him.

Charlie hugged her, "I'm so happy to see you. I guess you are also part of the Order now." They chatted for a few minutes while trying to get rid of the doxies in the curtains and furniture. Tonks saw Mrs. Weasley and her husband talking to another man, she'd never seen him before. He looked tired and wore coffee brown robes. Bill was staying in England; apparently he was ready to be of more service to the Order. "I want to stay close to mum, Percy is being a git. I don't want her to worry about me being in Africa." Bill said, his voice reproachful. This comment seemed to be addressed to Charlie who decided to stay in Rumania.

Charlie had matured; he remained quiet and diverted Tonks' attention to other wizards and witches unknown to her. "That is Hestia Jones," he pointed to a black haired woman, who appeared to be in her thirties. "Next to her are Dedalus Diggle and Emmeline Vance." They all fought during the First War. "Lupin and Sirius were also part of the first movement." Bill offered with a smile.

She had all but forgotten about her second cousin. "Why is he here? He killed all those muggles and betrayed the Potters to You Know Who." She said outraged.

"But he didn't, hear me out." Charlie said calmly, "I didn't believe it either but Mum told Bill and me about him. He is innocent, it was Pettigrew, and he was the Secret Keeper and the rat."

"He literally is a rat. You reckon; he's Scabbers. Remember Percy's pet." Bill frowned.

"I do." Tonks didn't know what that poor excuse of an animal had anything to do with the story.

"He's an animagus, his form was a rat." Charlie said patiently.

Tonks was shocked, her mother always talked about Sirius as if he was a good man, she was heartbroken when he went to Azkaban. "But Ted, he's innocent I know he is. He would have never betrayed James." Her mum wailed when the shit hit the fan.

She didn't know how she felt about him, she observed him talking to the bloke named Lupin. They made eye contact, he smiled and half waved she only nodded.

As time went by the room filled with more people, Professor McGonagall, Hagrid and other people were present. It was twenty minutes after she came into the kitchen when Dumbledore came inside again, "We will hold the first meeting tonight. We are waiting for another member, he will be arriving later."

He magically transfigured the curtains into a table and chairs for every member. It was actually impressive. It seemed that everyone was experiencing the same bewilderment. Her chair was her favorite blue comfy one from her flat. "As you all know Lord Voldemort is back. The people in this very room have my utter trust. I have taught all of you. I know all of you, our main priority is to protect Harry Potter."

"For many of you this is not news but I have to repeat this once again. Lord Voldemort is back and he wants something. It is not a secret that he sought a young boy years ago, he believed in a prophecy given to me. He never listened the whole prophecy. It is my belief that he seeks to hear it in its entirety." Dumbledore's voice was soft and clear.

"It is our job to ensure that he doesn't get the prophecy. We have a slight advantage over him." Everyone murmured and got restless. Dumbledore's voice rose a little, "The only people who can retrieve prophecies from the department of mystery are the recipients of said prophecy and the person whom the prophecy was given to." The room fell completely silent.

"I will not reveal the contents of the prophecy but Harry Potter must be protected. Voldemort will seek young Mr. Potter it is our duty to keep Harry safe."

"He is the chosen one then." Diggle squealed. "It doesn't matter. That is Voldemort's mistake, he believes them to be real but prophecies are just possibilities of different outcomes." Dumbledore addressed the crowd, Diggle seemed mollified and sat back in his squat green chair.

"Those of you who work at the ministry will take turns to guard the department of mysteries." He went on delegate the schedule set up to Moody and Kingsley. "The rest will guard Harry Potter.

"Another of our goals tonight is to assess how many people would contribute to the war effort. We have a tough road ahead of us, in the next few months be assured that the Ministry will discredit all of my supporters and me. That is why Tonks and Kingsley will not associate with Arthur. "It is pretty obvious that the Weasleys are big supporters of both Harry Potter and me."

"We need to recruit more people and let them know that Voldemort is back. Hagrid and Madame Maxime will be travelling to meet the giants. Remus, I have thought about your idea and I agree." The man, Lupin smiled sadly and replied, "I'll test the waters. I am sure there is something we can do to sway their opinion."

The group started to strategize and come up with different underground tactics to let the world know about You Know Who's return. Little by little the room emptied, it seemed only strategic people stayed behind. The eldest Weasleys, Hagrid, McGonagall, Moody, Sirius, Kingsley, and Lupin. She was about to leave with Bill when Moody called her, "Not so fast, Tonks stay behind."

The witch looked back to her old mentor and assented; she sat back down in her chair. She assumed that they wanted her to give an oath or something of the nature.

"Do not fret girl, we are not going to imperio or crucio you." Moody growled.

Tonks smiled lightly and waited for Dumbledore to say something. He extended his arm and she did the same. "Do you swear to never give any information about the Order to anyone outside of those who are part of it?" a fine sliver line caressed her hand and arm. "Yes" was her monosyllabic answer.

"Do you promise to be loyal to the light and those who wish to defeat the Dark Lord?" he continued.

"I promise." Once again another line bonded both Dumbledore and her. He let go of her hand and grinned behind his glasses. "Very well Ms. Tonks you are officially the newest Order's number." Dumbledore led her out of the door when suddenly they felt the wards give up.

Everyone drew their wands and stalked out of the kitchen, Moody was ahead while Dumbledore stayed in the rear. Kingsley motioned her to by his side; he whispered, "Do not make a sound, follow Moody." They walked and got to the library where the breach seemed to have originated. There in what seemed to Dumbledore's office was black robe clad figure breathing harshly.

The person looked up, a death eater. All of them threw hexes and other enchantments. The figure however was ready, He, Tonks was sure it was a man when he growled; easily deflected curses and danced around the room until his mask fell. There in all his dark glory was Severus Snape.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

I need feedback people, so review please. To those who've taken time and reviewed thank you. Please understand that reviews help me know if the readers like the story and how to make it better.

Chapter 9

Her heart beat faster, was he well? She had sent a stinging hex his way. "Stop" Dumbledore's voice thundered, his eyes hard. The older man made his way, pushing Sirius, Lupin and Kingsley, however it was McGonagall who approached Severus first. She concernedly helped him get up; Severus nodded and glared at McGonagall.

"Severus, are you well?" he inquired quietly.

"Of course I am," Severus composed himself and stared at everyone in the room as if examining all of them. He stopped and looked at her, his face betrayed nothing but Tonks was sure he saw some surprise in his dark eyes. It was then that she really gave herself permission to take him in. He looked older, more tired, and weary. His eyes were lined and his lips were chaffed and he seemed thinner if that was possible. She wanted to throw herself at him and kiss him. He broke eye contact and addressed the Headmaster.

"Would you prefer me to give you the report here or at Hogwarts?" He drawled.

Dumbledore smiled gently, "there is no need Severus we have been waiting for you." Tonks felt that it was her time to leave, no one asked her to stay; she left promptly. As she closed the door, she could hear him, "The Dark Lord plans to remain hidden and Karkaroff is definitely on the run."

Tonks ran out of the house, she breathed the night air and apparated to her flat. Once she was there she undressed and opened the drawer by her bed. There she found what she was looking for. It had been about a year and a half since she last looked at the contents of the little wooden box. She took out his forgive me note, a picture of him scowling at her and the most precious token that she owned. She stole it from him the last night she was with him. It was a black shirt, it still smelled like him; Tonks had put a preservation charm on it so it would retain his scent.

Sometimes when she really missed him, she would sleep in it. She unhooked her bra and donned the black fabric. "I missed you so much" she cried herself to sleep. That night she dreamed about him, his hands, his voice and his eyes.

The next morning Tonks woke up, she looked at the mirror and saw her tired puffy eyes and the limp hair. "Not again, don't let him control you again." She said angrily to her reflection, her hair became a fiery red. "That's better, now you'll have to see him regularly at least for the summer. Remember this, he doesn't want you, you don't work together and he is in love with a ghost. You will not compete with his perfect memories of a dead woman."

She pulled up her black knickers and her purple bra with red stripes. She decided to go with orange spiky hair. She wore her worn out jeans and a red Liverpool jersey. She felt better after her pep talk. She walked to the ministry and started working on a case.

Tonks had been afraid that seeing Severus would affect her more but she took it better than expected, she continued going out and talking to Kingsley after work. A week after becoming a member Kingsley sent her an inter office memo, it read, "meeting tonight at five o'clock." She burned the parchment and continued with her regular work.

By 4:45 she apparated to Grimmauld Place, she knocked down a vase, "bloody hell, why does it always have to be me?" she said exasperatedly trying to repair the vase and shut the portrait at the same time.

"Let me," it was Sirius; he smiled and repaired the vase. He also drew the curtains so the fabric drowned his mother's curses.

"I don't know if you remember me but I used to visit Andromeda and you when you were five or so." His eyes pleading with her, Tonks remembered playing with a huge black dog.

She smiled back and said, "I remember you were a dog when mum wasn't looking. She never believed me." She laughed and just like that they were talking about quidditch, Hogwarts, the benefits of changing one's appearance at will and why they hated being part of the Black family.

"It's just that mum never gave up you know. She even ruined my life by naming me Nymphadora Vulpecula." They laughed at that.

"Andromeda had such a wicked sense of humor." He barked a laugh and offered her some firewhiskey. They kept laughing and dried their eyes when Lupin entered the room.

He extended a hand to her and sat next to Sirius. "Nymphadora this is Remus Lupin, known werewolf and my last living best friend." Sirius said merrily.

She didn't know whether to smile or frown, maybe Remus didn't want her to know about his condition. Tonks smiled and said, "very nice to meet you. Tonks call me that, and never ever dare to call me Nymphadora."

Remus smiled and joined in the conversation, "So I guess you two are related?"

"Aren't we all?" Sirius said drinking more. Tonks changed the subject to a discussion long overdue, "I think you should call mum. She would like to know about this, that you are innocent. She tried to defend you but dad wouldn't let her go to the ministry and demand a fair trial for you." She said softly as she took his hand.

He smiled fondly but said firmly, "I am a fugitive, but after my name is cleared then I'll talk to her and we'll be a family again." He poked her in the ribs; he used to do that when she was a child. "Stop, I swear I'll have bruises'' she said laughing.

Remus laughed too, he had a nice laugh, she found herself smiling at him. He was handsome; he had sandy hair, a nice mustache and very kind eyes. Mrs. Weasley entered the living room, "Dears, the meeting is about to start, we are just waiting on Severus' report tonight." She ushered the three adults.

They entered the kitchen and sat in their chairs, Dumbledore sat at the end of the table just like last time. She greeted the Weasleys, Hestia and Hagrid who were closest to her. "I cannot believe the git, he's always late." Grumbled Sirius.

"Sirius please, don't do this again Severus won't back down this time." Remus hissed softly. Tonks was confused; her confusion would not last however. As soon as she looked at the door he was there, Severus was in his usual black robes. He sat next to Mr. Weasley.

"We'll begin then, Severus, please explain." Dumbledore sat and waited for Severus to speak.

"The Dark Lord wishes to remain underground to better position himself and attack later once he has killed Harry Potter. He is certain that the boy will seek the prophecy. He has started on talks about alliances with giants, werewolves, goblins and dementors. He is sure that the dementors will take his side." He said calmly.

Sirius frowned and said out loud, "Is that all? Are you sure?" he sneered, his face full with contempt.

"Headmaster, that is all I have to offer you tonight." Severus didn't even look at him.

Before Dumbledore could say anything Sirius jumped up again, "I don't believe you, you know more. You little coward, afraid of your true master are you Snivellus?"

Severus stood up, the hatred clear in his eyes; Tonks was surprised to see such venom in his eyes. He moved swiftly and pulled Sirius up, he had him by the collar. He bared his teeth and growled, his voice merely a hiss, "Do not try my patience. We are not teenagers anymore. Give me a reason to finally rid the world of your filthy presence, I won't hesitate." Severus pushed him back to his chair.

Sirius drew his wand and tried to curse him, Severus merely waved his hand at the wizard and deftly caught his flying wand. "As always predictable." He turned around and left the room.

Sirius was red in the face, clearly humiliated. Everyone in the room had the decency to look anywhere else but at him. "Very well, our next topic at hand is Harry Potter, as of today he is residing at Privet Drive, we need to keep him there for as long as it is feasible…" the meeting dragged on until Molly announced that dinner was ready.

They all picked up and ate, Tonks had more sense than to approach Sirius about whole thing so she chatted with Remus instead, "so you taught at Hogwarts?" he nodded and explained that he had done so at Dumbledore's insistence.

"He needed someone to teach defense against the dark arts and I was jobless. Being a werewolf does complicate things." Remus shrugged his shoulders and laughed bitterly.

Tonks smiled tightly, she continued asking about his post as a professor, remarking that when she was at Hogwarts the post had been filled with inefficient people. "I loved being at Hogwarts, it's always been a home to me and I was glad to come back to it. I loved teaching, I thought I wouldn't but it was better than expected." His eyes lit up as he talked more and more. She noticed that he was indeed very good looking.

She laughed more and more as he loosened up. "I would have loved to be in your classes, what happened? Is the post really cursed?" She asked.

It was then when Sirius jumped in, "Snape happened, he told his Slytherins that Moony was a werewolf. The Board of Governors demanded his resignation." Sirius spat while taking a gulp of wine.

Tonks could actually see that happening, but she needed to ask why. "We went to Hogwarts together, we never got along. He was in Slytherin and we were in Gryffindor, we basically hated each other." Said Remus, he said all of it while looking at a fixed point next to her, not really looking into her eyes. This told her there was something else he wasn't telling her.

Sirius was not so mild mannered with the disgust he felt for Severus. "He was a dark slimy bastard, I knew he would become a death eater in no time. I could smell the darkness and bigotry in him." Remus glared at him but otherwise said nothing.

Tonks had always been a curious person; she felt that something was off. The hatred she'd seen in Severus' eyes was not just because of old school rivalries there had to be something more. She wasn't going to push the issue anymore, at least not tonight.

By the beginning of July Tonks was more active in the Order, all of the Weasleys and a muggleborn girl named Hermione had moved to headquarters in order to make it livable. Tonks had to admit that she was spending a lot of time there too. She usually stayed for dinner and then stayed back with Remus and Sirius for drinks in the library. She only saw Severus while in meetings, and those tended to be over in less than an hour. He never stayed back or looked at her. "It is better that way, don't think about him." She repeated those words every time after seeing him.

Tonks had to admit that she wasn't paying much attention to Severus now; it had been years since she had a man in her bed. She tried dating but it wasn't really for her. First of all she did not have the time nor the desire to be in a relationship, second the men didn't even begin to compare to Severus and third it always felt strange when she attempted to have sex with them. Tonks always felt there was something missing; she never really reached the same orgasm as she felt with Severus. Remus was looking like an ideal candidate for sex and maybe a relationship. He was funny, smart, polite and very attentive. Sirius even teased her about the fact that she eyed the werewolf on more than one occasion. "Go for it," Sirius whispered as he left the library tonight.

Tonks blinked and remained in her chair, Remus was reading a book across from her; seemingly immersed in his reading. She cleared her throat, "would you like to grab a bite tonight? Or some other time." she quickly added when he saw the surprise in his eyes.

He looked sad, "full moon is approaching, is the day after tomorrow, I don't really eat much beside from chocolate and the wolfsbane potion." He shrugged and then he smiled "but we could go watch a film if you like?"

Tonks smiled widely, and got up, "Let's go. I want to watch Species." She dragged him to the closet cinema. There was some fuss from Remus' part when it came to paying the tickets and the snacks. "You don't carry muggle money. I do." Had been her firm remark. It was evident that money was a sore spot for Remus. They sat close together and watched the film, Tonks loved it, it had monsters, sex and it was nasty. Remus was a little grossed out but they had fun. They walked to Grimmauld Place; Tonks boldly took his hand in hers. Remus smiled and continued talking about how improbable the scenario of the movie was. "Is just not possible Dora, scientists are looking for cancer cures, to benefit humanity, not to have endless fuel."

She teased him, they were by the entrance, "you are an optimist, I can't believe it you still trust humanity's "inherent" goodness." She giggled close to his face. Remus stepped closer and kissed her. It was soft and nice; Remus was gentle as if trying to not scare her away. His lips felt hesitant; she kissed him more purposely trying to convey her acceptance of him. He hummed immediately and deepened the kiss. It was nice, she was enjoying herself and then the door burst open.

Tonks heard him before she saw him; "I hate to interrupt but I brought this." she moved away from Remus and saw Severus hand a bottle to Remus. "Wofsbane, Lupin the headmaster trusted me to give you this personally. You know how this works. Take it before you transform." He looked sharply at him and dissaparated without even glancing in her direction.

"I have to go, thanks for the film and listening to me ramble about it. Goodnight." The moment was ruined; Tonks awkwardly kissed his cheek, said goodbye and dissaparated to her flat.


	10. Chapter 10

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Chapter 10

Tonks touched her forehead and tried to forget about the fact that Severus had seen her snog Remus. She didn't know how she felt about that. "You shouldn't be even thinking about this. He saw you, so what? He is nothing to you." She thought. The witch opened her fridge and took out some ice cream. She planned to eat it from the carton. She had hoped to get an invitation to Remus' room tonight but Severus ruined her plans. Would it be awkward when they saw each other again? She really thought that there could be something with Remus.

She slept fretfully, trying to erase Severus disdainful face from her mind and trying to discern her feelings toward Remus. The kiss had been good, but again there was something lacking, certain spark.

The next day she went to work and as usual stopped by Grimmauld Place to chat and have fun with the Marauders, that's what George and Fred called them. "Wotcher", she entered the house and inevitably knocked an umbrella holder, waking her auntie Walburga.

"Tonks, please could you be more careful?" Shrieked Molly over Walburga's own shrieks, Tonks looked embarrassed but made her way to the library. There was always where Sirius and Remus were.

Tonks decided that she would approach the situation as boldly as before, she kissed Remus on the mouth and then kissed Sirius on the cheek. "I told you to make your move, good brassy old Tonks." Sirius teased her.

Remus merely smiled shyly. He seemed glad, "stop it Padfoot, we just started seeing each other." Good, she thought, they were in a relationship or so she believed; she would have to ask later.

Eventually the topic of Harry's situation at Privet Drive came up, "I hate that he's there. He's my godson; he should be here with us, what more protection than me. I am his closest living relative, Lily and James made me his legal guardian." Sirius exclaimed.

Remus tried to appease him, "Dumbledore was pretty clear on this. It is best if he stays with his aunt. She has Lily's blood, we all know that Harry is better protected when he is there, the blood wards will activate if something happens." Tonks listened carefully.

Sirius huffed, "Remus, that would work on perfect theory if his aunt was willing to protect him but she isn't and you very well know it. Again Lily and James trusted me to keep him safe." Sirius voice filled with anger. It didn't take much to anger him nowadays; he was restless and felt useless in the house.

Remus snorted, "If I remember correctly Lily opposed that decision fervently, she wanted to appoint Severus." Tonks eyes rounded. What did Severus have to do with anything? For the last month she had heard every Weasley younger than twenty and Hermione talk about the hatred Severus felt toward Harry Potter.

"Why? From what I have heard Snape hates Potter and his late father." She said surprised at the turn of the conversation.

"Lily and Severus were friends, they were childhood friends. They grew up together, James was jealous of him, I think that was the source of his anger toward Severus." Remus said as if he was telling an amusing joke. Lily, it was she, the dead woman. The one Severus couldn't forget. Tonks paled a little, Sirius took notice and asked concernedly, "Are you ok Tonks?" he touched her forehead. "I'm fine just surprised." She smiled, her best fake smile, the one she used after Severus broke up with her.

"Go on." she said, her smile encouraging. Sirius smiled cockily, "We all thought Lily would never take James seriously, I tried setting him up with other girls but he was set on Lily. Snape was our sworn enemy, we hated him so Lily hated us until Snivellus showed his true colors." The Black heir scowled.

"It was rather unfortunate, Severus called Lily a mudblood in front of half the school, after that she wouldn't talk to him anymore. James matured and wooed her, they fell in love and had Harry." Remus finished.

Tonks heart constricted, these men talked about Lily as is she was an angel. It all made sense now, how could she not have seen it; they were all in the same year. This was why Severus hated James Potter and his friends.

"Lily was a good and forgiving soul, after she learned that Severus was a spy for the Light she rekindled her friendship with Severus. James of course opposed it but once Lily put her mind into something there was nothing that could stop her." Sirius sighed and continued, "remember when I gave Harry those chocolate cookies, she wanted to strangle me. She even forbade James to leave Harry with me." He laughed and Remus joined in. Tonks pretended to smile and enjoy the reminiscence.

She was still reeling over the fact that she finally knew the identity of the mystery woman. She wanted to cry, even after all this time she was aware that she still loved Severus otherwise she wouldn't be feeling this visceral pain she felt in her chest. When had she become so good at deception? She was still here sitting; chatting and occasionally kissing a man she only felt a strong friendship for. She wanted sink into those dark pits of depression that she knew so well.

When both men were done with their tales, Remus led her outside of the house, it was late and it would be the last time she saw him before his transformation tomorrow. "I am not good with feelings and words, but I like you. I'm not much but I would like to know you better." He pulled a strand of pink bubblegum hair behind her ear, she smiled and nodded, "I would like that too Remus." She was determined to try with him. A big part of her told her to walk away and don't hurt this man but a bigger selfish part, the one that wanted Severus out of her mind and heart wanted Remus to make her forget about Severus Fucking Snape. She wanted Remus to erase him from her mind, heart and body.

They parted after brief playful kisses. When she got to her flat she took a shower and once again wore Severus' shirt. "This is the last time, no one will ever know and I will hide this far away from here so I won't be tempted once again." She cried herself to sleep; she hated being so weak; she hated the fact that even after three years this affected her as much as it would have when he first broke her heart.

August brought a lot of mayhem to the Order, first Harry Potter almost got himself expelled from Hogwarts and then they had to plan his rescue in less than a week. It had been Tonks' idea that eventually got the Dursleys out of Privet Drive. She finally met the famous Golden Boy. He was your typical moody, sullen adolescent; well she thought emphatically, he'd gone through a lot. Perhaps his sulkiness was justified.

Her relationship with Remus was going great; they went out had fun, fooled around and were a typical couple. They did not broadcast their relationship and were discreet to a fault. Only Sirius seemed aware of their change of status. Remus was bolder as time passed; he initiated more of their snogging and heavy petting sessions. They had not slept together yet but judging from his gestures he was ready to take the next step. They had almost done it in his room the day Harry was cleared of his charges. He had her pinned to the mattress and rubbed his erection against her wet center. She would have been a liar if she said she wasn't horny and ready to fuck him but when she had opened her eyes she had seen Severus hooked nose and dark brown eyes. Tonks wouldn't do Remus the dishonor of fucking him when thinking of Severus.

She felt him lick her neck; a strong wave of desire ran through her, "Sestop." She had almost moaned Severus' name. "I have to report for my shift at the Department of Mysteries." Remus growled and let her go, he was always a perfect gentleman, Severus would have kissed her harshly and given her the ride of her life. She had once tried to stop his groping, arguing that she had to write an essay for her advanced herbology class. Severus made her come so many times she forgot about it, until he reminded her, she had made him help her. He had grumpily obliged.

Tonks had tried to stall as much as she could but it was perfectly clear that she could not prevent it from happening. In a few days the Weasleys would be gone, the house would be empty again and then there would be no escape from any carnal activities.

It was August 31st the day before the kids left for Hogwarts; Remus invited her for dinner, they were at their favorite fish and chips eatery. They talked, kissed, ate, and held hands. Soon it was time to go home, they apparated to the library, she kissed him first. Tonight was the night; she would give in to Remus and have sex with her boyfriend. She let him kiss her, touch her and guide her to the couch. He slipped his fingers inside of her short skirt into her knickers. She moaned and caressed his hair; it felt wrong, it wasn't long. She shook her head, and kept on her task, forget about Severus. Focus on Remus.

They heard a book being forcefully closed. Tonks gasped, she pushed Remus away from her and fell on the floor in her haste to sit down properly. Severus sat in a chair by the empty chimney, in the far left corner of the library. "I have a message from the headmaster. I am to be the bearer of bad news. "Lupin, you are to report for duty with your fellow lycanthropes this month, which is why you are to stop taking Wofsbane." He said sardonically, "By your incongruent face am I to believe that you have already started to take the doses?"

"Yes" was Remus' single response, he seemed angry. "Very well then your mission shall be delayed for another month." Severus who had remained sitting stood up and for the first time since she joined the Order looked directly at her. "Nymphadora, you are to accompany me to the castle. Dumbledore would like an audience with you." He said as coldly as when he addressed Remus.

Tonks looked at Remus as if asking for his forgiveness, "I'll come with you Dora." He said reassuringly.

"The headmaster asked me to only take Nymphadora." Severus said impatiently. "Werewolf, I do not have the patience to discuss the matter with you." The taller and darker man grabbed her by the elbow and dissaparated them.

When Tonks came back to her senses she was in another familiar room. It wasn't Hogsmeade or Hogwarts by any means. Severus had apparated them to Spinner's End. He was by the small desk that served as a minibar, his back to her; he poured himself a glass of could have been whiskey. He drank it in one gulp and then put himself another one. After three other glasses Tonks recovered from her shock. "How fucking dare you apparate me without my consent." She shrieked at his back.

Severus turned around his face murderous, "How fucking dare I what?" he hissed advancing on her. Tonks lost some of the bravado she felt. She'd never seen him like this before. He looked ready to kill her, she saw so such fire in his eyes. Tonks saw him retreat again to his bottle. "Where is Dumbledore? Why are we not at Hogwarts?" she asked looking for a way out of the house. He always warded it and it was almost impossible to leave without the proper passwords and wand movements.

Severus laughed mirthlessly, he sat down behind his desk, still drinking and looking at her pace around the room. He was still quiet, "How long have you been fucking the werewolf? Did you fuck him the first time I caught you slobbering all over him?" This was much worse, once he hissed things and didn't raise his voice it meant that he was especially angry; the lower his voice got the angrier that he was. For some reason it was his tone that angered her, not the content of his questions. She voiced her displeasure; "you have no right to ask me those questions." Her hair reddened and her face flushed.

"He is dangerous, he is a bloody werewolf. You could get hurt; how long have you been sleeping with him." Severus crossed the room to where she was still standing.

"Remus is my boyfriend and my sex life is none of your concern." She spat at him, she came close to his face, Severus seemed to be about to kiss her but he stepped back.

She laughed bitterly, "Why have you brought me here; you don't even want me. You made it perfectly clear that I disgusted you years ago." Tonks eyes were alight with anger and resentment. He growled and then kissed her, it was heaven, even after all this time it seemed like yesterday was their last kiss.

He continued kissing her, plying her lips open with his, tasting, nipping licking her like there was no tomorrow, like she would disappear at any moment. He tasted like alcohol, "I want you, always want you." He said against her neck trying to get rid of her jumper. Tonks threw her head back and gave him access to do whatever he wanted to. She'd miss this so much, the passion, the uncontrollable fire she felt whenever he touched her. In that moment she only wanted him to touch her and make love to her. Tonks would come to regret this decision but she couldn't think straight right now. She could only feel his mouth against her neck, his hands in her breasts and his hard on nudging her thigh.

He rolled one of her nipples; he grew tired of trying to undo her jumper and bra so he magically undressed them. Severus stepped back and admired her; Tonks could not describe it in any other way. She was also looking at him; he lost weight, was paler but she still remembered his body. He seemed to be entranced by her, "change." was his simple request.

She hesitated, it would be simple to take any form, she scrunched her nose and became taller, a redhead with green eyes, her features matching those of Lily Potter, the woman was famous and in almost every book in wizarding history. She was going to torture herself and make it clear that she knew about his love for Lily.

His face changed once again, he kissed her roughly, "you got the freckles all wrong." He hissed almost inaudibly. His hand went to her hair; he pulled the long red hair. Tonks winced in pain but would not cry out. She would not give him the satisfaction. This was what she needed the ultimate humiliation and pain, maybe after he fucked Lily she would finally understand that loving him was a lost cause, that he didn't want her but Lily. She tried to remember all those times he took her, ever since learning about Lily she obsessed trying to remember if he ever made love to her while she had red hair and green eyes.

His voice reached her through the pain she was feeling in her chest. He tightened his hold in her hair and "I don't want to fuck Lily Potter. I loved her and she's dead, she was my friend, the only real one I ever had. I am sure your new boy toys have filled your pretty little head with tales of my so-called obsession for her. Know this Nymphadora, the love that I have for her is not romantic anymore. She was my best friend, I will not deny that I was attracted to her, did the werewolf or the mutt tell you that we tried for a while but she became a sister to me? Someone that I had to protect." He looked right into her changing dark eyes. Her hair became blue, "No, I want you Nymphadora, natural hair, skin, everything." He kissed her harder than before.

Tonks felt her heart race wildly, she didn't want to hope for anything; she would be a fool if she believed him completely but his latest request sent her reeling. They had to talk but right now she wanted to have him again. She moaned when he fingered her. She changed her blue hair to her natural rich dark brown. "Yes, my Nymph." He said reverently, running his fingers through her hair and kissing her cheekbones. She closed her eyes, "you said she became a sister to you. Why are you calling me by her pet name?" Why was this so hard? Maybe it wasn't worth it, he kept bringing Lily back. Severus looked confused, "you've always been my Nymph, the only woman I've called that," he said tenderly, still kissing her softly. Severus took her lower lip between his and nibbled on it, his hands coming to rest in her lower back.

"It's killed me, not touching you, not being with you. I missed you so fucking much." He kissed her neck and shoulders feverishly. Tonks moaned and let herself feel his desire, his desperation. She grabbed his face and kissed him. "I love you, if we are going to do this you have to know it, I will not hide Severus." She said against his lips, half afraid of him leaving. He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips softly, accepting her demands.

Severus embraced her and dissaparated them to his room. He was driven, he touched her whole body, relearning her, worshipping her skin, lavishing kisses and whispering how much he had needed her these past few years. Tonks wanted to cry out, and rush him. Have him make love to her, but she was enjoying the sweet torture that he was inflicting on her body.

Tonks touched his back and felt new scars, Severus winced against her breast, "Oh love." Her voice wavered with emotion. He was risking his life and welfare for the Order, a thankless job. She kissed his forehead softly, humming when he licked her nipples. "My Nymph, only mine." He said possessively while sucking on her breast. Tonks moaned in delight and agreed, "always and forever." This declaration fueled Severus, he finally drove into her; "ahh, so long since I did this." his careful love making forgotten, he thrust into her with fiery passion and relentlessness that characterized most of their past encounters. Tonks saw stars behind her closed eyelids. This was what was missing from her other few lovers. The total sacrifice, when she was with him, she felt that they were one, seeking equal pleasure. "Oh, Severus I love you." She half sobbed, half moaned. He growled and spent himself inside of her.

Severus collapsed against her and waited until their racing hearts calmed down from the high they just experienced. He nuzzled her neck, she hugged him to her and sobbed silently, "Please don't cry, I'll do anything but don't cry." He caressed her hair and rolled them over so she was by his side hugging him with her whole body.

"It hurts, being with you hurts. I want you to be with me as not only my lover but my friend, my partner, my confidante." she said brokenly.

"I have a confession to make." He said quietly against her neck, still holding her tightly, afraid to look into those dark eyes.

"I have felt very strongly for you all these years, I broke our relationship because I wanted you to have a better future." She stopped her sobbing and listened. "I thought that letting you go was the best option for you. I knew all those years ago that you were beginning to love me but I couldn't step away, I was selfish. I am still selfish, I expected you to move on, to fall in love again. After our last night together, I remember you kissing me and letting me go." He whispered.

Tonks moved back a little and looked into his eyes, "You remember when you were sick." She asked suspiciously.

He nodded, "I wanted to open my eyes and tell you to never leave me but something held me back. I wanted you to live, to experience love, become a successful auror and be happy."

"I can't offer you happiness Nymph, we are in the middle of war, which I have no hopes of surviving. You know that I loved Lily, I promised her to take care of Harry and I will. I owe her that, Harry has to win and survive this dammed war." He said with great conviction.

Tonks was surprised, she thought she knew this man but he kept surprising her. He was willing to risk his life because of a promise made to his dead best friend. She opened her mouth to support him, to agree when he put one of his fingers close to her lips. "I'm not done, I have to say this." he hesitated a little before saying, "I kept up with you. I know about your progress at the aurors' academy, I know about those fruitless dates. I have to say that every time you turned those men down it pleased me. I felt relieved, Nymph I knew you were depressed for years but I couldn't come to you because I still thought that you were better off without me." He said flinching, trying to see something in her eyes.

She looked at him and nodded, he cared, all this time he cared about her. She smiled successfully encouraging him to continue his confession. "When I saw you at Black's house I panicked, you would be in danger. I tried to dissuade Dumbledore but he had already initiated you into the Order, I ignored you because it was easier to pretend that you didn't exist. I couldn't face you, I couldn't see the hurt in your face."

He paused and kissed her, "I can make excuses and say that I want the best for you, Remus Lupin doesn't deserve you. Neither of us deserves you but if I have to choose, I choose me. I want you to be with me, to make love to me, to give yourself to me and me only." Severus said heatedly and kissed her almost brutally as if staking a claim on her. He didn't need to, she knew perfectly well that she wouldn't go back to Remus or seek another man after tonight.

"Forgive me for everything I have done and for the pain I will inevitably cause you. My Nymph, I can't promise you a life together, we might have no future but know this, I can give you today, and tomorrow. As long as there is life in my body I'll keep you safe." He said seriously sealing his promise with a kiss. Tonks would have preferred that he professed his undying love for her but it was only the beginning. Now that she knew that he felt something for her other than just desire she was convinced that with time he would love her as much as she loved him. She just needed to keep him alive, to help him protect Harry in any way she could.

Tonks realized that Severus was looking anxiously at her, she'd never replied. She smiled kissing him in the mouth, "I forgive you but I have one request." Now that she could she couldn't keep her hands away from touching him, she ran his fingers through his neck, kissing his Adam's apple, nipping and then soothing the bites with her tongue.

He hummed and caressed her naked back, "I'll talk to Remus, and you stop antagonizing Sirius." Severus scowled and growled, "As long as you don't ask me to be friends with them you have yourself a pact." He said kissing her fingers and moving up her hand and arm. She chuckled when his lips tickled her skin.

They made love through out the night, at 5:00 in the morning Tonks however removed herself from his arms; "I have to escort the Weasleys, Hermione and Harry to Kings Cross." She sat up in his lap and looked for her clothes; "I vanished them yesterday night." He came up and kissed her shoulder and the junction between her neck and jaw. "I don't have anything to wear then, I'm rubbish at transfiguration." She let him take over the caresses and the gentle touches to her body.

"I'll transfigure one of my shirts to a dress for you. Will that suffice?" he asked smiling against her long brown hair. It was curling at the tips. He took the ends and examined them, "when was the last time you got a haircut?" he asked still examining the hair against his fingers.

"Two or so years ago. I do it myself; there is not really a need when I can just morph and adjust hair to whatever I want." She said thoughtfully.

"I like it, it is so full of life, just like you." Severus caressed her scalp. "I would love to spend the whole day with you here in this bed but duty awaits me." She stood up and went into the bathroom. Still dingy and unkempt, she looked in the mirror; it had been months since she didn't want to really change anything about her body. She looked to the love bites in her neck and breasts, they were really tender; she decided to not reduce them like she usually did. She did become a little taller and had longer slimmer legs than her usual old self. She changed her brown boring hair to a lustrous black. Short bob cut, she stepped out and found Severus dressing and concentrated on one of his white school shirts. The garment became a short black dress. Tonks put it on slowly tempting him, teasing him and loving how his eyes darkened. "Apparate, otherwise Potter will have to do without you."

She laughed heartily, and pecked him goodbye. "I'll come here at 11:00 PM, we'll talk more." With one last hug and kiss she dissaparated.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.

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Chapter 11

Tonks sang her way to the shower, she smelled like sex and Severus. After a quick breakfast she left her home for Grimmauld Place; she was to be disguised as an old lady. She greeted the children, Molly and Sirius apparently Mad Eye and Lupin were in the other group. Sirius insisted on being with Harry even when they got to Kings Cross station, she had to agree with Molly it was foolish but she couldn't help but feel happy today. The only thing that dampened her spirit was the fact that she had to talk to Remus.

She would have to do it; there was no other way around it; she couldn't be in a relationship with Remus. Tonks didn't want to hurt him, even if Severus hadn't abducted her yesterday it would have eventually come to this, her hurting Remus because she couldn't forget Severus.

When the children were boarding the train she came close to Remus, "I want to talk." She simply said.

Remus smiled and said, "sure, once we get to Grimmauld Place we could go to my room and talk."

"No, I want to talk to you in private, that house is anything but private with Kreacher, muttering about." She tried to joke, she was really nervous and wanted nothing but be finished with what she had to say. Remus deserved an explanation.

Remus seemed contemplative, "let's have tea around the corner." He led her out of the busy station and into a small place between a busy restaurant and a retail store.

They ordered their tea, Remus looked at her expectantly, "I like you Remus, you are a great friend but I'm not ready to be in any committed romantic relationship right now." Lies, but she didn't want to be cruel; she had never broken up with anyone. She anxiously looked at his crestfallen face.

She tried to reach for his hand but faltered half way. "I am sorry." Her eyes downcast, he smiled sadly and replied, "we can still be friends right?" Tonks nodded, "I could always use a friend." She smiled back, comforted by how well he was taking the break up.

Remus stood up before things could get awkward, "I have to go. I need to talk to Kingsley. Will I see you tonight? It is Molly's last dinner at Grimmauld Place."

"I can't I have to work late in a new case." She said apologetically. They parted ways. Tonks felt like she could breath easier, a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She walked up to the Ministry and started with her new assigned case. It had been true; she did have a case going on. She planned to work on the disappearance of middle-aged man. She was in such great mood that they day went faster than expected. By early evening Tonks was done reading all of the reports. She was a member of the Sirius Hunt; so far she had collaborated and falsified three possible leads. Kingsley was very pleased with her work.

It was close to 10:00 PM when she decided to apparate to Spinner's End and wait for Severus. She didn't have to wait long after half an hour he came storming in. "I hate that bitch." He swore until he saw her in the bed reading one of his books. "Hello, sunshine." She kneeled in the bed and kissed him softly.

"You have no idea how glad I am that you are here." He unbuttoned his black robes; she was wearing her knickers only. Severus let her help him disrobe, "are you tired love?" she whispered taking away his crisp white shirt and undoing his trousers. "I am, this is going to be the hell of a year. That woman is insufferable and I know that Potter is just going to get in trouble." He leaned back and lay next to her. "I'm afraid the worst of the war is about to come. Last time Dumbledore had some support from the Ministry but now it is going to be mayhem."

Tonks nodded, the Ministry was not even acknowledging You Know Who's return as even a remote possibility. "I broke up with Remus today, we agreed to remain friends." She changed the topic, she was nervous about his reaction, just as she expected not even pity for Remus. "I'm glad." He simply said, he kissed her navel and inhaled her scent.

They didn't make love that night, they touched and rested together; Tonks cherished those moments of peace and quiet where she could examine him and just be with him without worrying about anything but themselves.

"Nymph, I have to go." He dropped a kiss to her smiling mouth. She opened her eyes and saw him fully dressed. "What time is it?" she slurred, her voice full with sleep. Tonks pulled him to bed with her; she was surprisingly strong for such a wisp of a girl. She kissed his neck and tried to undo his robes but he batted her hands away. She was about to put her legs around him but he managed to pin her before she did. "I have to be at Hogsmeade by 6:30 and it is 6:00 o'clock." He kissed her once more and got up before she could protest.

Nymphadora sighed and dressed slowly, "when will I see you again?" He looked pensive and answered, "I can't leave the castle every whenever I please." Severus looked angry over that.

She came close and pressed her hands on his cheeks. "Then I'll sneak into Hogwarts" she said simply.

"I highly doubt that you would get easy access to the castle that easily." He mocked her.

"You Severus Snape forget that I am a metamorphmagus and nothing is impossible for me when I try to sneak in somewhere." Tonks said confidently while getting up and putting her jeans.

The potion's master seemed lost in thought. "I don't think that would be such a good idea. We have to be careful, same rules apply love; I can't be seen with you. No one can ever know about us. If the Dark Lord gets knowledge of this your life would be in more danger."

She pouted but kissed him, "there won't be any danger I swear." He scowled but could not help but smile when she stretched and scrunched her nose becoming a blond grey-eyed woman.

"I'll see you in a few days I have nightly duty with the Order this week." With one last kiss Severus apparated away.

Hogwarts felt different, Severus felt a shift, he was sure Umbridge's presence unsettled the castle somehow. As he was expecting Dolores Umbridge was out to get Harry Potter. During that first week the boy got himself a detention from the insufferable woman. Draco had laughed about it during patrol duty. Fortunately Minerva talked to him, Severus hoped that the boy listened to his House Head.

The only thing that brightened this week was the fact that Nymph was supposed to come over tonight. It was a Friday and she was supposed to spend the whole weekend with him. They were to not leave his quarters until early Monday when she had to leave for her job at the Ministry.

It had only been about three months since they were back together in a relationship; he had to admit he was happier. Severus looked forward to their lust filled weekends and their post-coital talks about nothing and everything.

He entered his quarters and there she was; with her bubble pink shirt and her balck woolen tights. "It is freezing down here." She shuddered and hugged him to her. Severus loved this; Nymph was so giving and just good for his self-esteem. The metamorphmagus took care of him, loved him and made sure that he opened up to her. But contrary to his fears she wasn't overbearing, Nymph was gentle and managed to calm him and get him to talk about the war and his work as a spy.

"You shouldn't wear so little clothing then." He said with a smirk, his fingers running along the oversized neck that left her left shoulder almost bare.

Severus kissed her white shoulder. "Be yourself."

Ever since they got back together Severus had issued that silent command. Nymphadora secretly loved it when he asked her. It excited her to think that this man had the opportunity to ask her for something new but he chose to be with plain old her. She wrinkled her nose and her hair became the long dark brown he knew. Her eyes became brown and the light brown small mole above her left eyebrow became more apparent.

"That's much better." He sighed and kissed her softly.

Nymphadora smiled and returned his affection. The couple soon grew feverish with want and their soft kisses became hurried and passionate. They made slow love; "I should come to Hogwarts more often. If this is the welcome that I get" Tonks said against her pillow. Severus had one leg over hers and his arm played with her belly button.

"I would love to have more often but Toad face is becoming more and more vigilant of us teachers." Severus nuzzled her neck while she chuckled.

"She does resemble a toad; who came up with that name. Not very clever but it fits her."

"I heard it from both Draco and Potter." He answered her absently.

"How's Harry doing?" it was the polite thing to ask. She actually cared about the boy but she asked for Severus' benefit. She knew that he would take the hint and vent with her.

As expected Severus took the hint, the potion master started his tale. Harry had gotten himself in detention after his first DADA class.

Severus was stalking the corridors looking for the last wandering students when he saw Harry walking towards Gryffindor Tower. Severus saw him closely for the first time during this term. He was the exact replica of that blasted man but he looked thinner, taller but feeble. His eyes were downcast and one of his hands was in a tight fist. He was about to desillution himself when the boy looked up and stared him right in the eyes. Lily's eyes bore in to his. Harry was in pain. "Potter you are not supposed roam the castle at this time," he drawled.

The boy looked defeated, but still had that same spark that his mother had, the need to explain himself. "I was in detention with Professor Umbridge." That accounted for the tired expression.

Severus had to keep on prodding otherwise it would be suspicious. "Detention slip." The adult extended his arm.

Harry looked angry now, "I do not have one sir." He said, his voice challenging the Potion's master.

Severus scowled, "I will ask once again, hand me the slip." The boy was lying then, how dared he be out at this time. Everyone was risking their lives to protect him and here he was recklessly putting his life in danger.

"You didn't ask, you demanded, just like everyone else." The boy spat, his eyes full of rage.

"Do not take that tone with me." Severus grabbed his hand, the boy flinched and hissed loudly; Severus saw blood in his hand.

The Potion's master was confused, his instincts rushed forward. "Let me see your hand." Severus said calmly but firmly.

Harry looked scared now "is not necessary Professor, I, I cut myself when I was sharpening my quill."

"Let me see it."

The boy complied and showed his bandaged hand. "Take out the bandage."

"No." was the monosyllabic answer.

"Take it out, or I'll petrify you."

Harry made no move to defend himself or to take out the bloodied bandage. Severus stepped closer and vanished it.

The professor saw the bloodied hand and read, "I will not tell lies." The letters were still oozing blood and the boy's hand was angry red and swollen.

Severus growled, "Come with me." Harry looked properly scared. Severus grabbed the boy's good hand and dragged him along the corridor.

Harry managed to splutter, "Where are we going?"

"To the Headmaster, we'll have that bitch out by Monday." Snape was enraged; the vein in his forehead was about to burst. In the five years he had known Snape he had never behaved in this way. 'Was he concerned about him?'

Harry shook his head and tugged until Severus had no other way but to stop and look at him once again. "The Headmaster cannot know about this." Harry said pleadingly. Severus understood that the boy didn't want anyone to know that he had any weakness.

"Mr. Potter as a teacher I am required to report this incident to the headmaster. There will be no compromise." Severus frowned but had no time to explain further.

"You don't even care, the headmaster doesn't care why would I go to the headmaster when there is no one to stand up to me? I have no parents." Harry said in a hiss, his voice full of ire.

Severus finished and squeezed her, "I lost it Nymph, and seeing Harry like that it angered me. This has been going on for at least two months." he hissed the last part. "The boy ran to his dorm and wouldn't even look at me when Monday came."

Tonks felt him stiffen beside her, "I don't know if I should be telling you this but I think Harry is neglected." She waited for his reaction.

"I know most of it. The Dursleys have never physically injured him. I tried to talk Dumbledore out of placing Harry there but he was convinced that Petunia would raise the boy as his own. It turns out I was right." He said sadly.

She rolled over and faced him. "I don't understand you; in the past few weeks you've described Harry as a delinquent, a spoiled child with the need to be the center of attention. But just know you've taken his side and seemed worried about his welfare. Don't look at me like that; your promise to Lily was to keep him alive. I thought you felt guilty about Lily's death. But do you actually care about the boy?"

Tonks had to admit she was a little scared that he might shut and be his regular hermetic self. She had the courage to question him because these last months had been filled with confessions and communication. They were lovers and friends, the most intimate friends; as opposed to their previous failed arrangement Severus opened up willingly and answered truthfully all of her questions. She knew about the prophecy and about his unfortunate role in the Potter's fate. Severus had even told her some things about his relationship with Lily.

Severus couldn't help but to feel impressed by this woman. In a few months she had correctly assessed him and come to deep conclusions about his feelings. Feelings he would have never voiced to another human being. The dour man had not even fully acknowledged them to himself.

"I care about him. It pains me to think that he believes there is no one worrying about him." He took a deep breath and told her his last secret, the one he had not told her yet.

"He could have been my son." He said in a whisper. His Nymph's face paled.

"You mean Lily and you… I thought you said…" Tonks couldn't help but feel a little out of sorts with this new information. Her insecurities resurfaced but before she could dwell on them Severus spoke.

"It meant nothing, it was a one night stand. We had just rekindled our friendship; we went for drinks after a painful afternoon of confessions and tears. Lily and Potter were separated. They married young and she was not sure she was happy with him. We were drunk and we always wondered what would have happened if we never fought. Lily was sure we would be married by then and I was certain she was right." Severus looked ashamed as if he was asking for forgiveness.

"It was the worst sexual experience for both of us. She realized she loved James and I realized that Lily and I weren't compatible." Tonks nodded.

"Lily went back to Potter, she learned that she was pregnant and panicked. I still remember the night she told me about it. I was already a part of the Order, she approached me after my debriefing."

"Sev, we have to talk." Lily was somber, she was pale and her voice sounded hoarse.

After that night they kept in touch and continued writing to each other. Severus followed her to McKinnon's kitchen. Once they were sure they were alone she said the following words "I'm pregnant."

At first Severus didn't understand why Lily would tell him that and then the penny dropped. "It can't be." He said breathlessly.

"Lily nodded and she started crying. I hate to see women cry and then it dawned on me we could use a charm and know for sure. I did it and it revealed that it was Potter's son."

"I felt such relief, I wasn't ready to be a father. I am still not ready." He said openly to her.

Tonks arched an eyebrow and successfully deduced, "so that's what you meant when you said Lily and you tried for a while?" Severus nodded.

He expected her doubts again and her anguished eyes. He wanted to reassure her but he couldn't help but feel exasperated by the fact that this happened ages before he met her.

Severus must have conveyed something with his eyes because the Black beauty inhaled and added. "I know I shouldn't feel like this but I still feel insecure about your relationship with Lily."

"I can honestly say that Lily's memory is a bitter remainder of my own shortcomings. I will never forgive myself for her death, and no amount of pain will ever suffice to appease for my sins against her. I killed my best friend." His voice strained by the anguish he felt.

Tonks knew that it was useless to try and dissuade him from his beliefs. She had tried to convince him otherwise but the misery in his eyes was enough for her not to approach the topic again.

"Harry has to survive, for Lily, for me. Keeping him alive has been my goal. He needs to live, be happy and have a family. He deserves a bright future. I would give my own life if it means that he will survive." Severus said with a conviction that scared her.

"Severus is it just because of Lily?" she asked shyly. Touching the hair that fell to his forehead.

"You are the first person who knows this and perhaps the only one who will ever know." This was a night of revelations and Severus just wanted to let it all out.

"After Harry went to live with Petunia Dumbledore dissuade me from contacting the boy. At that time it was too risky for me to dare approach Harry. I agreed and was only aware of Harry's home situation through Arabella Figg and Dumbledore."

"I sent a Christmas and Birthday gift to him every year. He still receives them, although he thinks they are from someone else. I have to admit that when he came to Hogwarts I was cruel and distant. I could tell you that it was all a façade to keep my Death Eater status intact but it wasn't. All I saw was James Potter with Lily's eyes. I felt so confused; the first thing I felt was hatred and anger. I saw an unruly boy with delinquent tendencies just like that scumbag."

Tonks wrinkled her nose but kept quiet. She never knew James Potter so it wasn't her place to defend or offend his memory. "But then something happened, at the end of his first year The Dark Lord tried to get the Philosopher's Stone and Harry ended up in the infirmary."

"Poppy confirmed that the boy was neglected, he was underfed and had some mild malnutrition. I took it up to Dumbledore but he was adamant that Harry stayed with the muggles. I threatened him; I was ready to take Harry away from England. He convinced me that it was best if the boy stayed, the old man manipulated my guilt and managed to subdue me."

The metamorphmagus remained still; waiting for him to finish. She was sure he was almost done. "Lily wanted me as godfather but Potter overruled her desires. The mutt became Harry's guardian. I should be the one in that role; Harry has been my responsibility and main concern for years. But I have to remain quiet and let others run his life. It pains me to see him like that, to see the abuse he has to go through just because he's the so-called chosen one. Nymph, he is fucking fifteen years old, his biggest concern should be getting his OWLS not saving the magical world."

Tonks did the only thing she could do; she hugged him and once again worried about his fate. "Once this is over Harry will know all of this. We'll make sure he's happy."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

New Chapter! Enjoy it, Thanks to those who review. I would like all of you who read this to review.

Chapter 12

Tonks danced around her living room. The chilly December wind made her miss Severus even more. Her Hogwarts visits were forbidden now. High Inquisitor Umbridge decided to evaluate professors and that included their personal lives. Severus could not afford to upset the woman because of his role as a spy and professor. He had to gracefully comply with her wishes.

Umbridge didn't know that he was in a relationship with anyone; therefore Severus was required to take up more patrol duties and be more active in the school. "I think she senses that I'm seeing someone. Surely Filch has noticed something amiss or she's asked the elves about my lodging situation. We have to be more careful. I will spend the break with you."

Severus's encoded letter had said as much. It had been two weeks since he last saw him. She was spending more time at Grimmauld Place trying to cheer up Sirius but apparently it wasn't working. Remus was a little aloof and formal with her but she felt their friendship was healing. The girl was about to apparate over there for some late brunch when she remembered that she had to go to the Ministry for some late paperwork.

She walked the four blocks to the building and went straight to the Auror's office. There she found Kingsley and Savage talking amicably. "Hullo Tonks." Savage greeted her. She smiled and winked at him.

"If only I was into girls." He smirked.

Tonks laughed and went into her desk to retrieve her papers. She waited until Savage left, just in case Kingsley wanted something. Her hunch proved to be correct. As soon as the other auror left the black man came to her station

"We are concerned about the thing at the Department of Mysteries. We have new intelligence. Come to the place at 2:00 PM." Kingsley said as if he was talking about the weather.

The light blue haired woman stepped into Grimmauld Place earlier than expected. It was 12:30 when she entered the library and started a conversation of magical creatures with Remus.

"I just don't like Crups they are too servile for my liking." She giggled when Remus made a face at her declaration.

"So I take it your prefer kneazles." The werewolf said dismissingly.

"Yes of course." she said haughtily.

"That would be the Black female trait." Sirius joined in and barked a laugh when he saw her disgusted face.

"Don't look at me like that." the animagus stood up and circled the room with a glass of wine in his right hand.

"The Black beauties have a penchant for kneazles." Sirius paced around the room and listed them with a reminiscing voice. "Mother had a black nasty little one, Atria. She was Bella's favorite; that deranged woman loved Atria."

"Andromeda and Cissy also loved that kneazle. Uncle Cygnus hated animals so the Black sisters played with Atria whenever they visited." He looked pleased.

Tonks smirked, "Are you implying to have some sort of affection for Narcissa and Bellatrix Black."

Sirius looked affronted, "not at all, they were foul girls. Although Cissy was nice until she married that Malfoy git." Sirius smiled fondly. "We got stoned once." He laughed when he saw Tonks' expression. The metamorphmagus was surprised; she could have never thought Narcissa could let loose like that. She didn't doubt that Sirius could get stoned. Tonks sort of expected him to try drugs. But the next thing that he said really surprised her. "Remus was there too, it was part of a recreational experience between Hogwarts Houses."

The girl looked at Remus who tried to look inconspicuous. "Remus, is he serious?" the werewolf nodded and wiped his hands with his sweater.

"You did drugs?" she couldn't believe that good old Remus would experiment with muggle drugs.

"It was part of a truce we had in the good year of 1977 as a final show of goodwill between the Houses. Don't look at me like that; it was the Ravenclaws' idea." Remus looked a little embarrassed.

Tonks still looked confused, Remus sighed and started explaining. "The war was just starting to become very apparent to the wizarding world. People started disappearing, no one trusted each other and house rivalries ran rampant. We were graduating and everyone was stressed out. There was an incident, Marlene McKinnon and Severus were supposedly dating and that angered many people." Remus looked directly at Sirius.

Tonks turned her head to her cousin who was drinking from his glass. "I'm missing something." She said, her eyes bright.

"I was in love with her. She was a Ravenclaw, but she never paid any attention to my affection for her." Sirius said despondently.

"She liked Severus." Remus said carefully, Sirius shrugged as if not giving any importance to the situation at hand but Tonks could see some lingering anger.

"She thought Snape was so brilliant and intelligent. It was disgusting the way she trailed after him." Sirius spat while drinking more of his wine.

"Severus was never one for girlfriends or romance but Marlene made an impression. Sirius found them snogging in a dark corridor by the seventh floor." Remus could not contain his smirk.

"I was supposed to meet her for a date, she forgot about me and instead snogged Snivellus. I cursed him, he cursed me and McGonagall found us."

"Minerva was tired of the houses feuds, and she cancelled all of the remaining Hogsmeade visits for our class. Mind you it was October, so we did the best we could we started having parties in the different common rooms." Remus laughed and Sirius smiled too.

"The last gathering took place in the dungeons; Lucius and Narcissa were there. It wasn't special to see Lucius, he was always there with Regulus and Severus but it was something else to see Narcissa."

"Needless to say most of us were stoned out of our minds by the end of the nights. Those gatherings were the best, all of us had fun and we didn't care about houses or the war." Remus smiled fondly. "Do you remember when Severus and Lily introduced us to Led Zeppelin?"

Sirius smiled fondly and then barked a laugh as if remembering good times. "How could I forget." Tonks saw a link between the man she loved and her cousin and jumped on it.

"You and Snape have something in common?" she asked, her demeanor seemed outraged.

"It pains me to admit that at some points in our lives we shared something other than Lily's friendship. But it's true."

"I'm sorry but I just can't imagine Professor Snape or you listening to Led Zeppelin." She laughed at their frowns. "Sirius, both of you are purebloods, how would you know about a muggle band?"

Sirius smirked, "I didn't know about the band but Snape did. He's a halfblood, Lily and him went to concerts when they still were friends, as it happened in one of our gatherings the Hufflepuffs were supposed to bring the music but they were too stoned to even get it from their common room. We were in Slytherin's quarters."

Remus continued, "Lily was way too intoxicated, she forgot she wasn't on speaking terms with Severus and yelled from across the room. "Oi Sev, get the music started."

"Snivellus was by some couch getting acquainted with Marlene." Sirius laughed and couldn't continue with his tale.

The werewolf laughed too but composed himself, "Lily saw him and went right by his side. "Excuse me Marlene but Sev has to do something important." She pulled him up and dragged him to his dorm."

"It was a blessing that James wasn't there to see it. By then, they were going out and Lily seemed to be in love with Prongs but he was still very jealous of Snape. I forgot to tell him anything about it because fifteen minutes later they were downstairs dancing and singing Kashmir at the top of their lungs."

"We never told James about Lily and Severus because it wasn't important. All that happened during those gatherings was secret. While in those we could be ourselves, we forgot about the houses, prejudices the war. We could even have civil conversations with each other. All under the pretense of being stoned." Sirius wisely concluded.

"Why is he such a git?" Tonks asked, trying to get an impression of their attitudes toward her Severus.

"The war changed us, in addition he was always strange and foul. There is nothing but a shadow left of us, all of us. We lost so much, even that Death Eater." Sirius ranted and faced her. "He lost Lily, and Tonks I am sure of something about Snape. He loved her and Lily loved him."

She couldn't believe that Sirius would say something like that. At this point she didn't know if he meant romantically or platonically but she was certain that her cousin was not as mad as everyone thought him to be.

They kept talking about the old times, transporting Tonks to the Marauders' adolescence and all of their adventures. She loved it when Remus and Sirius went on with their memories. She felt included and also got a fuller picture of Severus and his youth.

Soon it was time for the official meeting. As always, there was some bustling before Dumbledore cleared his throat. Tonks greeted Kingsley and Bill before she sat next to Sirius. She saw Molly, Arthur, and Moody no one else was present for this meeting. She was disappointed to not see Severus anywhere, she guessed he was at Hogwarts; Dumbledore wouldn't have started the meeting without him.

"Voldemort is getting restless, he was convinced that he would get Harry and the prophecy by December. He will attack soon, Severus believes that Voldemort will try to use one of us to infiltrate the Department of Mysteries again."

Sirius snorted, while everyone else paid attention to the Headmaster's words. "We have to increase our alertness. Those of you who work at the Ministry have to be prepared. Tonks, Alastor and Kingsley will have to be more careful during their watches. Bill I need you to keep your talks with the goblins. It is of utter importance that we get their support and their alliance. They are the only ones that we have left. The giants have agreed to support Voldemort and the werewolves will not really decide until the first casualties of war."

Dumbledore verified the schedule for December and made once again a report of Hogwarts and its difficulties. "As you know Harry is still mentoring his fellow students. I must say he's doing a wonderful job although his methods of deception have room for improvement."

Sirius smiled, "just like James. Getting in trouble and breaking rules," he said fondly.

Tonks offered him a wan smile, but inside she was worried. According to Severus this insurrection could cost Harry a lot if it was discovered. She worried even more, when even after the meeting Severus would not apparate to Grimmauld Place.

Once the meeting was over Tonks decided to stay longer, just in case Severus made an appearance. She helped Remus with dinner; Bill decided to have dinner with Fleur. They were dating since October, Bill was smitten and even tried to introduce the French woman to Molly. So it was only her and the boys as she playfully called them. Finally by 11:00PM she gave up and went home, not before Remus drunkenly tried to kiss her goodnight. "I'm sorry Remus." She said while pushing him away and into the house.

She entered her room and went into her shower immediately. The young woman discarded her clothes and got under the showerhead. The hot water soothed her tired muscles. She felt him behind her before she heard him. "I thought you were going to Grimmauld Place." she felt his hands take the loofa from hers. His left hand caressed her belly while his right hand washed her breasts. His mouth did wonders against her neck and shoulders. He turned her around and kissed her, "I didn't want to see the mutt nor the werewolf." He murmured against her lips. He forgot about the loofa and pushed her to a wall. "I've missed you, hair back to yours now." He said as he groped her bottom and pulled one of her legs to his hips.

He entered her without warning and she moaned, "Please tell me you're staying the night." He laughed and moved his hips rapidly, "I am Nymph, all night and morning just for you love."

She groaned when he did the impossible and increased his pace. "I love this." she half whispered half moaned when he hugged her and forced her to put both of her legs around his hips. He drove into her relentlessly and made her come hard.

They finished showering got into bed. As usual Tonks was snuggled against his chest, playing with his hair while he caressed her bare hipbone.

"I learned about the '77 gatherings." She said smiling. He laughed and faced her. "Those were the last good days of my life, before the war. Before taking the mark and ruining my life; we had so much fun that year. I think I even talked to Potter, of course we were both stoned out of our minds." She laughed. "You don't deny it. I thought you would."

He caressed her forehead, "I made myself a promise, I won't ever lie to you, with you everything has to be true. Nymph, I know what it took for you to give me a second chance. I still feel your hesitance some times. You don't have to tiptoe around me; you will only get true answers from me." He kissed her smiling mouth and her crinkling eyes.

"Now, are we wasting the little time we have together or will we do something worthy with it." He asked as he lowered the yellow sheet from her body, his eyes lasciviously looking at her still wet center.

"I've got a treat for you." She knocked him back and pointed her wand at the stereo. Whole Lotta Love played while she rode him hard. Her breast swayed at the beat of the music. Severus could not believe all of the raw sexual power that his Nymph possessed. He grabbed her hips and helped her reach the pinnacle of her ecstasy while achieving his own. She kept going up and down with the music playing "I'm so close again, Severus, Severus, Severus." She chanted her head thrown back in pleasure. He sat up and pulled her hair back. He ravished her neck and massaged her breast. Their hips still thrusting wildly, she was a vision a beauty around his cock with her eyes close and her arms trying to reach him. "Yes Nymph, come for me, fucking come now." He whispered and licked at her ear. Severus came too and pulled her to his chest.

He smiled filthily and smoked a cigarette afterwards. "Those will kill you," Tonks tried to catch her breath still flushed and sweating, slumped in his chest. "Is the smoke bothering you?" She nuzzled his chest and shook her head, her hands stroking his belly. Severus finished his cigarette and freshened the air around them. They slept peacefully through the night, him without nightmares and her with the relief of knowing that he was safe and sound protecting her.

Severus woke up to the delicious feeling of Nymphadora nuzzling her face against his bare chest. She was sleepy and draped her free arm and leg around him. He hugged her too and thought about her. It was so easy to be with her like this. Nymph soothed him in a way no other human being had been able to do.

When she woke up Severus was leafing through a muggle newspaper. "Anything interesting?" she said while stretching, "No, same old, no strange deaths or unexplainable accidents yet." He kissed her pouty lips when sat close to him.

Severus accioed the remote and turned on BBC News, "Why are you checking muggle media?" she asked while she went to the bathroom.

"Last time we overlooked the muggle media, it was too late to help people when we started checking the media. These news give us an idea of how the death eaters are operating and what we can do to prevent them."

Tonks nodded and started to move around the kitchen, "I really don't have anything for breakfast." She said while throwing three-day-old Indian food.

"We'll go to the store and buy food. I really don't feel like eating out." He got up and dressed.

"You do know I can't cook right?" she smiled when he raised an eyebrow.

"You forget that I can actually cook." He finished doing the black button up shirt.

Tonks laughed and put on her trench coat, she looked at her watch; "We'll have brunch and then shop." He shrugged and followed her out of the flat. They ended up eating take out the whole weekend because neither of them seemed interested to move away from the bed for more than five minutes.

She pouted as he finished putting on his heavy black robes. "I wish Dumbledore would stop that woman."

"Dumbledore doesn't know that we are together, as far as he is concerned I am in a Potions' Seminar in Rumania." Severus kissed her pout and pulled her away from the tempting bed.

"I'm still spending Christmas Break with you." He kissed her neck and behind her ears, "We'll go somewhere warm away from England." He whispered and smirked when he heard the shriek coming from her.

"Severus!" she kissed him full on the mouth and smiled beautifully.

"I don't have to be at Hogwarts and the Dark Lord is still obsessed with the Prophecy. He has decided to not celebrate Yule this year." He said with an unsavory tone of voice.

Tonks hugged him and kissed the side of his jaw. She was still shorter than him in her natural shape.

"We'll see each other again in two more weeks." He cradled her round face and kissed her softly. She opened her eyes and he was gone.


	13. Chapter 13

I don't own Harry Potter

Thank you for the reviews. Please keep reading and reviewing.

Chapter 13D

Severus woke up to Minerva shaking him, "Severus wake up, we have a problem." The black haired man scowled, he detested being woken up when he managed to finally sleep.

He rose and put on his robes, "What do you mean we have a problem." He said in a foul mood. Minerva scowled too and promptly said "Arthur Weasley is in St. Mungos You-Know-Who's pet snake attacked him."

"Potter had a vision, he saw Arthur laying dead in the Department of Mysteries."

"Where's the boy?" Severus voiced did not betray the worry he felt for Harry.

"He's in London with the rest of the Weasleys, I had them flooed to Sirius'. Miss Granger will be there tomorrow. We need to know what You-Know-Who is planning." She said.

Severus looked at her blankly, "I have not been summoned Minerva. I don't really know what you want me to do."

"I came because Albus asked me to tell you that he wants you to stay for the Holidays and to infiltrate Malfoy Manor." Minerva said softly. Severus curled his lip but remained silent, he knew better than to argue with her right now.

"Very well." He said shortly and marched to his bathroom, Minerva frowned but left the dungeons at once.

Weasley was injured; he would probably die as a result of Nagini's attack. Mrs. Weasley would be devastated as would be her children and Harry as well. He washed his face. He needed to be alert now; he would have to be at his best later. He decided to remain awake and take a walk around the castle. Doing his rounds always helped him occlude and organize his ideas.

He left the dungeons and started walking the hallways, he thought about Weasley and his children. He remembered losing his dad; it had been a bad time for him. He walked for a while until he heard someone say his name. He turned around and saw the headmaster walk up to him. "Severus."

"Headmaster." Severus slowed his pace until the older man caught up with him. "Arthur is alive, he'll recover. Harry and the Weasleys are at Grimmauld Place. Severus when Harry had the vision, he was the snake." Dumbledore said softly.

"He needs occlumency lessons. The connection he has with Voldemort becomes more dangerous every day." He knew that, he knew what Dumbledore was asking him.

"When are we to start our lessons?" Severus sounded resigned, "Severus, please give the boy an opportunity. He reminds me of you..." Severus stopped the old man, "please spare us the sentimentality around this issue. No son of James Potter could ever be anything short of an arrogant toe rag."

Dumbledore sighed, "the boy has to master occlumency as soon as possible. I would suggest you start mentoring him as soon as the winter holidays end and classes resume." He stopped and looked at Severus. "Think of this as an opportunity to know Harry. There are hard times ahead, there might come a time where protecting him might not be enough..." The headmaster went his way leaving Severus confused.

The Potion's Master walked to the Great Hall. It was almost time for breakfast. He sat next to Minerva. Ten minutes later Umbridge sat to his left.

He poured himself some tea and oatmeal. Minerva drank her usual tea. Soon the students filled the tables. "Where are the Weasleys and Potter?" A shrill voice rang close to him.

Minerva sat up straight, "Arthur Weasley was hospitalized yesterday. They went home early." Severus continued with his meal but sensed that the Umbitch wouldn't be satisfied. He wasn't wrong.

"Why wasn't I notified? As High Inquisitor..." Her toady face scrunched up in anger.

"As their Head House I decided to not notify you. Dolores it was late, I'm sure you received my letter this morning. Did you check your mail this morning? Umbridge's cheeks turned an ugly shade of pink.

The toady woman recovered and asked icily, "Where's Potter?"

Minerva calmly smiled, "the Weasleys are like his family. The boy spends all of his summer holidays with them. It seemed logical to wake him up too. The headmaster agreed to let him go." Umbridge looked like she wanted to argue further but something held her back.

Breakfast continued to be a tense affair. Dumbledore wasn't in the castle. The official story was that he was in London.

After a couple of hours most of the students were gone for the holiday break. Severus checked the Slytherin list of students who stayed back. This year he had about ten children.

He sat and sorted his mail, as he expected he had an invitation to Malfoy Manor for their annual New Year bash.

He regretted not spending all of the holidays with Nymphadora. He already promised her a nice time off. He was really looking forward to a vacation, time away from Death Eaters, children and Dumbledore.

He magically packed a duffel bag and apparated to her place. He knew Nymph would either be at the Auror Headquarters or on duty with the Order. He strengthened her wards and waited in bed for her. He chose one of her muggle books. "One Hundred Years of Solitude." "Interesting." He said out loud and started reading.

Severus read the book. He enjoyed getting lost in literature. It had been years since he read a good book. He was halfway through the book when he heard the door opening.

Nymphadora saw him and smiled brightly. "You didn't tell me you were going to be here today." She was very happy to see him. She kissed him hard. He slowed the kiss and pushed her next to him. His Nymph moaned when he kissed her neck. "We are not going away are we?" She said between kisses. "I'm sorry love. I have to stay. Dumbledore wants me to teach Potter occlumency." She sat up and saw his worried expression.

"He's afraid of him, the headmaster thinks the connection between him and the Dark Lord is too strong. He doesn't want to have any contact with Harry because of that." Severus told her about their conversation. She listened attentively.

"Severus, this is your chance to get him to know you." She straddled him. He frowned. She could feel him start an argument against the idea. Nymphadora smoothed her hands over his black shirt. "Hear me out, show him a few memories of you and Lily. Spike his interest, he'll open up to you."

He frowned and rubbed her back. "I don't want to be friends with the boy. I don't even like him, I just want him to be alive after the war." She laughed and unbuttoned his shirt. "Are you sure? He's the last connection to Lily you have." She knew how to get him. "He's nothing like Lils, and it would be too dangerous. He could do something foolish. I'll talk to him after the war, if I live through it." She tensed but he kissed her and undid her shirt.

They made love quietly, unhurriedly with the knowledge that they would sleep against each other for at least that night. Severus kissed her naked shoulder and the pushed her long dark brown hair aside. "What happened to Weasley?"

She sighed, "He was watching over the department of mysteries. He would be dead if it wasn't for Harry. We rushed him to St. Mungos, they managed to stop the bleeding. His doctor is trying a new treatment using muggle alternatives.

"I need to contact his healer. They could use a sample of Nagini's venom." Severus mused while Tonks kissed his cheek. "Molly is beside herself. She cried all night until the healer told him that Arthur was fine." Her voice turned sad. She grabbed his hands and kissed them, "I would die if something happened to you." He frowned. "Don't say anything. You know how I feel Severus. Please just accept that I love you and for me a world without you has no meaning." She said directly into his eyes. He kissed her softly and caressed her under the sheets. He nuzzled her and entered her slowly, savoring her reactions and the way she looked at him. He felt so loved when he was with her. He worshipped her; he could hear her sighs and small moans. He kissed her gently, "Severus," she chanted, and tightened around him. He looked into those beautiful brown eyes and came as he kissed her.

She lay on him and sighed deeply, these small moments made her day. She was happier than ever before. All the pain, the distance, it was all worth it. Him hugging her and his weight against her was all she needed. His heartbeat against her ear and his voice in the morning, she kissed his chest and smiled when she felt his hand against her back.

They woke up because of the owl, tapping against the window. "Love, please get that." She sank deeper into her pillow. Severus stood up and grabbed the letter. His bleary eyes made out Black's handwriting.

"Is from the mutt." He went back to bed and put a leg over her hip. He hated mornings and wanted to be back in bed with his lover.

"I should read that letter." She loved it when he moaned and grumbled. "Don't. He probably wants to invite you over to his place."

She stretched her hand and opened the letter, "You could come with me." she tried once again but he just pinched her nipple.

"I hate your cousin. I can't stand the sight of him." His hand went lower until he reached her center. "You however I like. So you can stay here with me for the whole day. We don't even have to leave this bed." He licked her ear and was rewarded with a small moan and her rubbing her bottom against her crotch.

Three days later Tonks wheeled Arthur inside to the kitchen at Grimmauld Place when she saw her lover and cousin almost duel. They were both about to hit each other. Harry was there too, looking uncomfortable.

Arthur's cheery voice dissipated the tension. "I have to go. Mr. Weasley I'm glad you're fine." He said this under his breath and took his leave.

Tonks smiled and laughed with these people who were her family and friends but she just wanted to go home to her lover. At seven she couldn't stand it any longer. "Merry Christmas." She kissed Remus, Sirius, Molly and Arthur. She waved at the teenagers and left the house. She laughed when Sirius tried to stop her from leaving.

She apparated home and found Severus drinking a glass of whiskey, she kissed his mouth and led him to the bedroom. She kissed him and pushed him to the bed. He smirked and kissed her back. "I'm going to give you a nice present Severus. You've been a very good boy." She said sultrily.

He bit her lip. She laughed and took off the trench coat. She wore a black sweater and grey leggings, very subdued for her usual attires. She undressed slowly and then undressed him.

"You deserve to have a very happy Christmas." She kissed his pale stomach and then went lower. Severus pulled her up and grabbed her short red hair. "Be you." She moaned when he pulled her hair and kissed her neck. Severus thrust into her and rode her hard, long gone was the gentle lovemaking of days past. He needed to let off some steam. He used her and she let him use her. She gasped when he put his leg over his shoulder and drove into her hard. "Fuck Severus." She trashed and arched her back.

She dropped to the mattress, and felt his weigh on her back. It was dawn already and she was exhausted. Severus was insatiable; he made love to her, fucked her and teased her all night. She felt him kiss her shoulder blades, "Severus love, I'm sore. You have to wait; you wore me out." He laughed, a filthy laugh, "I can't get enough of you. Although I am tired too." He moved to his side and watched her sleep.

They slept until early in the afternoon. She caressed his face and he cracked an eye open. "I'm hungry." He said, she laughed. It was so unlike him to say that. "Get up. We'll make late lunch together.

He ruled her kitchen and two hours later they were fed and again in bed, this time they cuddled and talked about Harry. "That fucking mutt, he implied that I would put Potter in danger. He threatened me, I almost cursed the fucking bastard." His voice was a hiss of raw anger. She listened to him and his side of the story.

"Don't even try to defend him." She frowned but kept quiet, finally he seemed to be emotionally spent and just held her.


	14. Chapter 14

I have decided to put this story on hold for a while. I'm sorry, to those of you who actually read this story maybe I'll go back to it someday. I just have so many ideas in my head for other stories in other fandoms. Please forgive me.

Jpena.


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